Trust or distrust?

Without trust you can't live. It's "the" basic element in politics, business, management, friendship, love and life.









Now, trust is not an easy subject.

For example:

• Research showed that women and men both lie about three times every 15 minutes in a simple conversation.
• The average credibility of a CEO in western countries is below 30%.
• Only just 40% finds it (very) easy to trust an accountant.

So you could ask yourself,






What is Trust?

There can be no trust unless you give it first.
And even with someone you fully trust, you'll have to cope with distrust.
If you think you won't.. Just the fact you consciously decided to trust someone, means that you implicitly considered the theoretical possibility that he or she could betray your trust. So distrust was on your table. Not considering distrust is naive or even risky and will in most cases end in a disappointment.

Let's look at some properties of these trust relationships:

Trust relationships:

• are bipolar : Trust and Distrust
• include ambivalence: Degrees of [dis]trust, Simultaneous trust and distrust
• are multifaceted: We can both trust and distrust the same person in different contexts

Trust relationships are also two dimensional:




Let's look at how you can manage trust and distrust in the same relationship.




From this matrix we may conclude the next rules of thumb:

• 'Just' managing distrust, won't bring more trust.
• If there is not enough trust, trying to manage distrust will escalate and lead to apathy and frustration. Once you're in this position, your relationship gets 'locked' and the both of you won't be able to manage your trust anymore.
• Always start managing trust first.
  In a situation with "low distrust" by giving 'more freedom', 'stimulating each other' and 'creating happy moments'.
  In a situation with "high distrust" first by 'creating rules' and 'agreements' and (re)gain confidence in each other.

That's not all folks! It's just the start. Trust me.

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Columbus Egg

We often try to perform,living by the rules.

Rules are often developed based upon experiences, the past.
To capture the future, set for new directions, 'old rules' sometimes get in the way.

One step further is the Master, who sets the rules needed to achieve new goals.

A great example of such a master is Christofer Columbus, who discovered America in 1492.

The egg of Columbus

Just after his first voyage, Columbus was at a party.

There, somebody told him that if he had not discovered America, someone else would have.

Without reply, Columbus took an egg and said, "He who can make this egg stand here on the table without support, he was the first to discover the Indies."

Each person on the table attempted to make the egg stand, but no one succeeded.


Then Columbus took the egg in his hand an with a smart stroke upon the table, it remained upright.

As is clear, Columbus in one single action proved:

• He (only) had the capabilities of succeeding in utopic goals
  
• Once somebody discovered something new in a simple way, that doesn't mean it wasn't hard to discover
  
• To succeed, if neccesary, you'll have to change the rules (stroke the egg)
  
• Tough situations urge for thinking out of the box

Remember, sometimes you cannot make an omelette without breaking the egg.

Next time your goals look unreacheable or you don't have enough time or patience, simply try changing the rules.

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