Sunday, January 27, 2008

Keep Smiling

What's the right response when people treat you unfriendly in a dominant way?

By nature you could probably respond in two ways:
  • Defending yourself, find or make up excuses, explain
  • Express your irritation or frustration

Neither strategies will help. It's probably better to react paradoxically and react with friendly dominant behavior.

You could do this for instance by asking open, non-directive questions. This way you will gain the initiative.

Hold on!
One paradoxical intervention will certainly not be enough to get grip on the situation.

You'll have to keep up and sustain your friendly behavior, even if this means you have to act against your feelings.

From the heart
Try to make this way of reaction a matter of the heart and not of acting against your nature.

It's simply a matter of keeping up your dominant friendliness for a longer period of time than the other person can keep up his dominant unfriendliness.

This approach will finally lead to results, when the other person, according to the mirror principles, responds with what is called 'submissive friendliness'.

Once the other person eventually starts answering your questions and following your line of conversation, success is within reach.

So remember, keep smiling, from the heart.

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