Selfbetterment

What you see is true

2011-10-15T18:42:00.000+02:00

If your colleague, friend or relative disagrees with you, how do you respond?

Your reality
When we view or perceive (hear, smell, taste) something, this is reality to us.
And indeed it is a kind of reality, your reality! As, given your 'filters' like genes, education, physical (health) condition, background, position, circumstances, consciousness, and experiences (etc....), every human being can only perceive a small and often different glimpse of what reality really is.

So, to put it in an other way:

What you see is true, but what others see too!

Consequences
This implies that instead of trying to convince the other that your point of view is right, it's more constructive and fruitful to ask the other about his view and opinion.

At first it will be difficult to understand the other and perhaps it even arouses aversion, but eventually you'll be able to better understand the other's point of view without the obligation that it necessarily has to become your point of view.

This way you'll be able to enrich, grow and develop yourself to a more complete human being. This way of thinking opens new doors and gives space for new solutions and breakthroughs in a growing controversial world.

Risk Perception

2011-09-09T10:14:00.002+02:00

Risk is all about perception, as the next story illustrates...

Finally you arrive at your hotel late that night.... The hotel manager has only two rooms left. These two rooms are exactly the same, except for one aspect: The fire alarm.....

The manager tells you that in the event of a nighttime fire due to the usual causes, guests in Room 1, equipped with Alarm 1, have a 2% chance of dying. Guests in Room 2, equipped with Alarm 2, have only a 1% chance of dying.

However - things in life are always complicated - there's a slight problem.....

According to the manager...... The wiring of Alarm 2 is such that it sometimes causes electrical fires that increase the risk of dying in a nighttime fire by an additional 0.01%.

In other words, Alarm 1 is associated with a 2% risk of death and Alarm 2 is associated with a 1% + 0.01% (betrayal) risk of death.

What room do you choose?

Outcome

According to a study by Gershoff and Koehler, most participants choose the room with Alarm 1. This, even though this room 1 has double the increased risk of fire death. Reason: most participants found the tiny risk of "betrayal" (product malfunction) much more frightening than the much larger risk of actually dying. When people get upset by a tiny risk, they often paradoxically choose the much larger risk.

Personally I think a more imaginable risk 'weighs' stronger than a non-specific abstract risk......

Conclusion
This simple example proofs that perception or emotion has a strong influence on risk decisions.

Next time you have to make a decision on risk, try to make a rational guess. Than, act on this calculated guess and not on your 'risk feeling'.
Nevertheless, keep in mind 'risk decisions' are often irrational, no matter how strong you prove that they are not. It seems we have to live with the fact that, regarding risk, we're all victim of the same emotional bias....

Read more about this interesting subject on:

- Vaccination and betrayal aversion (2011)
- Safety First? The Role of Emotion in Safety Product Betrayal Aversion (2011)

- The Risk-as-feelings hypothesis in a Theory-of-planned-behaviour
- Behavioral economics: the missing link in the financial crisis-
- Decisions are Never Emotional
- Irrational Risk

The Risk of bicycling

2011-07-01T16:55:00.002+02:00

You decided to start a 3 year math study at City University in London. From your brand new apartment in Southall, it's a 12.5 mile drive to the University at Southhampton Street. As a passionate cyclist you consider the risk of cycling through London for the next three years.

Based on your googled " DFT's Reported Road Casualties 2009" research (resulting in a cycling death rate of 36 per billion vehicle miles), you first conclude that the probability of getting killed in a cycle accident during your three year study is relatively low : 0.1% (≈ 3[years] × 365[days] × 25[miles] × (36 [Killed] ÷ 10⁹[vehicle miles]).

Subjective probability

After this factfinding you start to realize it's YOU getting on the bike and it's YOUR 0.1% risk of DYING in the next three years of your study....

Hmmmm...this comes closer; it makes things a little different, doesn't it?

Its looks like 'subjective probability' - on reflection - is perhaps somewhat different from 'objective probability'.

While your left and right brain are still in a dormant paradoxical state of confusion, your left (logical) brain already starts to cope with the needs of the right (emotional) half that wants you on that bike at all costs!

Russian Roulette

Now your left brain tells you not to get emotional, after all it is 'only' an additional 0.1% risk. Already your left brain starts searching for reference material to legitimate the decision you're about to take.

Aha!.... Let's compare it with 'Russian Roulette', your left brain suggests. Instead of 6 chambers we have thousand chambers with one bullet. Heeee, that makes sense, you talk to yourself.

With such a 1000 chambers Russian gun against my head I would pull the trigger without hesitating.... Or wouldn't I?..... No.., to be completely honest, 'I wouldn't risk it', my right brain tells me.

Hé... my left brain now tells me my right brain is inconsistent: It wants me on the bike but not to take part in a equal 'death probability game' of Russian roulette. Why not?

In Control
My left half concludes it must be the 'feeling' of my right side that makes me feel I'm 'in control' on my bike, but not in case of Russian Roulette. That makes sense, tells my left brain me. Of course! Problem solved! My right and left brain finally agree: It's only a small risk and it's I who can control the outcome of a healthy drive. Besides, this way the health benefits of cycling massively outweigh the risks as well, my right brain convinces me superfluous.

A final check by my right brain tells me: If I can't trust myself, who can I?
This rhetorical question is the smashing argument in stepping on the bike and to enjoy a wonderful ride through London City.
As ever...,

My left brain is always right!

Aftermathematics
After returning from my accidentless bike trip, I enjoy a drink with a colleague of mine, the famous actuary Will Strike [who doesn't know him? ;-)].

After telling him my 'bike decision story' he friendly criticizes me for my non-professional approach in this private decision problem. Will tells me that I should not only have analyzed the probability (P), but also the Impact (I) of my decision. Remember the equation: Risk=P×I?

Yes of course, Will is right. How could I forget? ..., the probability of getting a deathly accident was only 0.1%.

Yet, 'when' a car hits you full, the probability of meeting St. Petrus at heaven's gate is 100% and the Impact (I) is maximal (I=1; you're dead ...)

Summarized:

Risk[death on bike;25 miles/day; 3 years] =
Probability × Impact = 0.1% × 1=0.1%

From this outcome it's clear that, even though the Impact is maximal (1=100%) , on a '0% to 100% Risk scale' this 3 year 'London-Bike Risk Project' seems negligible and by no means a risk that would urge my full attention.

I'm finally relieved... it always makes a case stronger to have a taken decision verified by another method. In this case the Risk=P×I method confirmed my decision taken on basis of my left-right brain discussion. Pff....

Afteraftermath
The next morning, after my subconscious brain washed the 'bike dishes' of the day before, I wake up with new insights. Suddenly I realize I tried to take my biking decision on the wrong variable: Probability, instead of Impact.

Actually, in both cases and without realizing, I took my decision finally on basis of the Impact and the possible 'Preventional Control' (not damage control !!!) I could exert before and during my bike trip.

I had to conclude that in cases of high Impact (I>0.9), nor my left-right brain chat, nor the 'Risk=PxI' formula lead to a sound decision, because both are too much based on probability instead of Impact. In other words:

In case of high Impact, probability is irrelevant

In case of high Impact, only control counts

From now on this 'bike conclusion' will be engraved in my memory and I will apply it in my professional work as well.

P.S. for disbelievers, the tough ones!
If you're convinced you would take the risk of firing the 1000 chamber Russian gun against your head, you probably valuate the fun of the bicycle trip higher than probability of the loss of your life or good health.

In this case, suppose someone would offer you an amount of money if you would take part in a 1000 chamber Russian roulette instead of a bicycle tour. At which amount would you settle?

Let's assume you would settle at € 10.000.000 (I wouldn't settle for less). In this case you really value your bicycle trip!!!!

Interested? read more at Actuary-Info

Are you a B.C. Manager ?

2011-03-04T10:43:00.000+01:00

Yes.... Are you a B.C. Manager ?
No this is not about whether you have a 'Before Christ Managementstyle'.....
The question actually is:

Are you a Border Collie Manager ?

But seriously now.. let's start with...

What is a Border Collie?
A Border Collie is a special kind of dog, trained to herd sheep.
The herding instinct of Border Collies is in fact the original killing instinct of a wolf that - over the past two hundred years - has been toned down through selective breeding. Border Collies circle the livestock at the far end and bring it back to the handler.

How do Border collies manage?
Border Collies tend:

not to use force (initially) to drive the livestock where they want to
use what is known as "eye", a sort of threatening stare-down that intimidates the stock into moving in the desired direction
If the non-physical means of moving stock doesn't work, his natural instinct is to slowly escalate the encounter into an ever-increasing use of force.
Barking, nipping, and eventually gripping (biting) are used to get the point across to the more stubborn sheep.

Comparison
Now let's translate this behavior into a management environment.
Think of yourself in the position of a CEO who has to manage his managers (border collies) in the managementteam.
Your managers have 'to deal' with your employers (with all respect: the sheep in this example).

Now, please think about the next considerations:

Would you like your managers to operate like border collies
At first site it may look like your managers don't have their own opinion. They act on your whistle. But looking closer, managers - like border collies - have a clear goal, make their own decisions and act as a coherent team without mutual competition to achieve their goal.
Would you like your employees to be treated like sheep by your managers?
Of course you wouldn't! Your employees are the key factors in achieving the success of the company. And looking closer, your managers - like border collies - treat your employees (the sheep) intentionally with dignity en gradually build an adequate approach for each employee. So each employee (sheep) has the possibility to learn and develop itself.

Of course, every comparison (this one too) has its limits.In practice you'ld probably some of your best "sheep" to operate as border collies too. You as the CEO of the company are responsible for the Corporate Teambuilding
of you border collies.

The principals of border collie management are trained by TLC according to the next two managementprinciples

TLC Management Principles

Body Language and the Boardroom
You don’t have to be a mountaineer or orienteer to learn about team spirit, body language and leadership skills. In fact you don’t need to run, climb, or engage in any strenuous exercise. Sheepdogs are excellent teachers of patience, understanding, tolerance and teamwork. They have their own form of ‘language,’ and learning the communication skills of a ‘thinking dog’ is fascinating.

TLC - Think Like Canines
Dogs in a pack work together in harmony for the good of the pack. They don’t argue about their position, they accept and respect leadership but use their initiative whenever the need arises.

For years shepherds and their dogs have worked together, neither one afraid to take responsibility, to delegate or to question a decision that could ultimately save time and energy. Is it any wonder that the humble sheepdog is proving invaluable as a role model for the corporate world?

From the managing director to the tea maker everyone is important and everyone is part of a team.

You, as a CEO Super Border Collie of course handle this process with dignity and respect. Be conscious, be a border collie manager if the situation demands to be one.

Links:
- TLC : Thinking Like Canines
- The Ten Management Principles of Supercommunity Banking

IF

2010-11-01T11:03:00.000+01:00

One of the best inspirational poems ever written, is 'IF' , by Rudyard Kipling (1895):

So..., 'If' you ever feel down or depressed, take up this poem, read it again and feel the energy coming back into your blood vessels....

Word Empowerment

This empowerment by words is also visible when a text, document or url is translated into Word-Picture. A wonderful application called Wordle, helps you to build these word-clouds.

Here is a Wordle example from Kipling's poem IF:

Enjoy the IFs in your life!

Are you the boss

2010-04-30T09:52:00.002+02:00

What does it takes to be the boss?

The Parrot
One day a man goes to a parrot shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the special parrots section and asks the man to choose one.

The man asks, ''How much is the one on the right?''
The assistant says, 'a $ 100.'' The man is surprised and asks the assistant why this parrot is so expensive. The assistant explains, 'This parrot is very special. He whistles and sings'

'What about the other two the left?' the man asks.
The assistant says, 'They costs $ 200 a piece, because they also speak, answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.'

'What about the gray one in the middle?' the man asks.
The assistant says, 'That one's $900 !'
The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, 'I don't know, but the other parrots call him boss.'

Powerpoint Mortality

2010-02-21T09:45:00.002+01:00

Whether you're an accountant, consultant, student or salesman, when we take up a new challenging project, we're inclined to spend most of our time on data mining, modeling, reconsidering, detailing, arguing, making things perfect and finally, drawing the conclusions and writing the exhaustive proposal report....

Fortunately - in this case - your right on schedule! You've got exactly one day left before your Board presentation of the project. Still completely in a rush and overexcited about the stunning results of your successful investigation, you start up your laptop to wrap up your proposal report in a full flash Powerpoint presentation.

That night at 01.00 AM, you successfully finish your ppt presentation. Just in time! Completely satisfied about this phenomenal achievement, you e-mail the ppt to Nosica, the Board's secretary you know well. She, as well as the Board, will be impressed by your 'night shift work'. Who said you were doing a 9 to 5 job?

The next day, at 14.00 AM you enter the Board room, full of confidence. Your presentation is start-ready, the beamer glows, you're fully concentrated on your audience and in a 'cashing' flow....

After 20 minutes of presentation, including your ten recommended practices and some questions, you leave the 26th floor. All went well...
Time for a drink and a well earned good night sleep...

Next morning, 09.00 AM, the Board's secretary replacement calls you: Your proposal has been declined....

You're flabbergasted, how could this happen? After all this work you've been through.

What went wrong?

The answer is simple, you denied Wayne Burggraff's Law of Presentation:

"It takes one hour of preparation for each minute of presentation time."

So next time, in case of a 20 minutes presentation, invest 20 hours of your time in research, development, organizing, outlining, fleshing out, and rehearsing your presentation.
In essence: if you fail to prepare well, you are well prepared to fail.

Tips.....
Here are some practical tips that might help you with your preparation:

Ask yourself: ''If I had only sixty seconds on the stage, what would I absolutely have to say to get my message across."
-- Jeff Dewar --
The simplest way to customize is to phone members of the audience in advance and ask them what they expect from your session and why they expect it. Then use their quotes throughout your presentation."
-- Alan Pease --
No one can remember more than three points.
-- Philip Crosby --

Fear of presentation
It's surprising to see that people are more afraid (41%) of 'speaking to a group' than of death (19%).
Now it's clear why we search the help of Powerpoint to 'survive' on stage.

Powerpoint Mortality
We all know Powerpoint..... Powerpoint itself is not good or bad, it's the way you use it.

The mortality rate of Powerpoint is humorously demonstrated by Don McMillan:

Life after death by Powerpoint

Who Needs Powerpoint?
Last January I was heading for a presentation with the help of Powerpoint. Full house. However, on the supreme moment the local beamer gave up. I simply decided to bring my message in an interactive session with my audience, without the help of Powerpoint.

Yes, it was different, challenging and even fun! Because of my thorough preparation - I was able to concentrate on almost everyone of my audience. So...., another Maggid's tip could be:

Prepare your presentation without Powerpoint!

A presentation try out
In the mid nineties my employer's company was heading to get listed at the stock exchange. I remember I had to give a presentation before a panel of 70 international analysts, who would probably raise all kind of difficult questions. In order to prepare 'abap', I called my strategy director as well as my CFO and asked them to act as my 'try out analysts audience'.

I told my colleagues I would give the presentation three times in a row. In the first two presentations they were obliged to interrupt me as much as possible, to raise difficult or weird questions and to put me to test (keeping my humor and concentration). During the third presentation they had to act as normal audience.

To make a long story short: after three presentations, my two colleagues kept their breath in combination with a desperate look in their eyes. I told them not to worry and reassured them my presentation at the analyst session would be successful.

And so it was, as I was fully prepared on every possible question and didn't had the need to look at my ppt presentation, I could fully focus on my audience. Lesson: Make the preparation tough, you'll benefit from it in the final presentation.

The powerpoint master
Yes, there are a lot of rules, regarding the use of Powerpoint.
The Golden Rule is that all PowerPoint presentation rules, principles, and guidelines are just secondary to doing what is ultimately right for your audience. Critical point is, you can only break the presentation rules if you know them .

It's just like in other sciences, once you've become a master, the real art of your profession is not anymore in applying equations and methods 'by the book'. Now it comes down to break the existing rules and conventions in a such a professional way, that new problems and social challenges are being (re)solved in a different way. Key point here is that not only your professional skills have to be outrageous, but your presentation skills as well. As the success of a good peace of master craftsmanship, is completely dependent on the way it is presented.

Mindmapping
Let's conclude with some practical free(ware) presentation tip.
Although you're probably aware not to overuse clip art, it's good practice to set up your presentation in a consistent and well polished style.

Of course you can use expensive business packages to illustrate your presentations, but there's also an excellent freeware application called: EDraw Mindmap 4

With the help of Edraw, creating presentations and mind-mapping is a question of minutes.

Enjoy preparing and giving presentations, learn to be(come) yourself on stage and overcome any possible fear of speaking to groups......

Related links:
- EDraw Mindmap 4 (Completely freeware!)
- EDraw Mind Map 1.0
- Edraw Max (not freeware)
- Lovelycharts (free, one application; online)
- Presentation skills (youtube)
- The New Office Math (youtube;Don McMillan )
- Presentation skills (ppt)

Bumblebee Feedback

2010-01-02T12:53:00.018+01:00

We all know those plump Bumblebees that fly around. Until now scientists have been unable to develop a sound theory on how Bumblebees fly. Traditional aerodynamic theories (e.g. theories that explain how airplanes fly) are inadequate to explain the lift or fast forward flight of a Bumblebee. Yet, Bumblebees fly!

Clue
Although it's hard to fit into mathematical formulas, scientist have a clue on how insects, Bumblebees in particular, are able to fly.

Contrary to an airplane, insects are flapping their wings.
Bees beat their wings approximately 200 times a second (video), which is 10–20 times as fast as nerve impulses can fire. They achieve this because their thorax muscles do not expand and contract on each nerve firing, but rather vibrate like a plucked rubber band.

The clue can be found in the way insects flap their wings. The flapping motion causes the leading edge vortex to spiral out to the wingtip, siphoning off the vortex and delaying stall. One way or the other, the augmented lift, coupled with the delayed stall, is the principle mechanism that insects use for generating 'lift'.

Until this very moment (2009) we are unable to explain the exact principles behind this complex lift effect. Perhaps there isn't a single simple theory and is the only 'explanation' found in a process called 'Feedback Dynamics'.

Feedback Dynamics
In the world of Feedback Dynamics we adapt and adjust 'our' behavior - without any conscious handling or direct nerve interference - in small rapid steps until the desired goal (e.g. 'lift') has been attained.

Feedback Dynamics doesn't ask 'how' or 'why'.

Counting in the dynamic influence of the continuously changing environment, Feedback Dynamics simply persistently adjusts behavior in the direction of the defined goal (e.g. I want to fly).

What can we learn from the Bumblebee?
Our bumblebee lessons could be summarized as follows:

Logic & Science
Even if you think you don't qualify or are unable to achieve things in life because 'logic' tells you so, the doctor (specialist) has told you or your family tells you you can't: Don't accept this 'science' for an answer. Find new ways to achieve your goals, show your environment it can be done, although perhaps in a different way.
Stop How & Why?
If you want to achieve extraordinary new results and you found out they couldn't be achieved 'the normal way', don't count anymore on your history of 'how' and 'why', but trust on your gut-feeling. Take a few small steps in a arbitrary direction and see if you can get away from your current position. This - strange at it might seem - preferably isn't necessarily in the direction of your predefined goal. From this new achieved position, repeat small steps again. Enjoy the journey and soon you'll learn to discovered Nova Terra or have learned to fly.
Math Models
Most things in life can't be fully explained by mathematical models. A math model helps to explain to describe reality. It is, at its best, a simplified projection of reality, but must not be confused with reality itself.
Flap your wings
If you get stuck in life, never sit down in despair too long, but flap your wings: Take action!
Believe in yourself
Like the Bumblebee, always keep believing in yourself. Never (unhealthy) doubt yourself or don't ever let anybody bring you down who can 'proof' you can't fly or tells you that you aren't good in 'this' or 'that'. You don't need proof, you Are the proof. Even if you're now and then wrong, that doesn't mean you're totally wrong. It shows you're human. Try to learn from it (if possible) and in any case don't give up on yourself!

Enjoy life and apply Feedback Dynamics in it!

Sources:
- Dissecting Insect Flight (2005)
- Mechanics of Forward Flight of Bumblebees (1989)
- Control Theory: Design and Analysis of Feedback Systems
- Wikipedia
- Why bumblebees can fly

The Golden Rule

2009-12-30T12:05:00.008+01:00

At the end of 2009 I would like to quote 'Unexamined Assumptions', a subpart of a chapter called Falsity, from the interesting on-line book :

On the Preservation of Species

A Logical Argument in Support of a Rational Basis for Community including Necessary and Sufficient Conditions for Sustainable Happiness for All Sentient Beings in a Hypothetical World

1989 - 2007 , by Thomas L Wayburn

Unexamined Assumptions

We think we know almost everything; what we actually know is almost nothing – and most of that is false. The most pernicious type of ignorance is belief in falsehood. We are ignorant, but our minds are filled with something.

In the beginning, our minds begin to be filled by words, which represent ideas. Next, our minds begin to be filled with notions, i.e., unexamined assumptions, promulgated or inculcated by parents, teachers, government, business, etc. Some of these notions we hear repeated everyday, but others are buried so deeply that never are we aware of their existence. In either case they are prejudices, by definition, since they have been assimilated without the exercise of judgment or reason, i.e., from Latin: prejudicium – before judgment. Some are true, but most are false.

Social institutions are willing to go to great lengths to prevent falsehood from being exposed. Heterodox views are everywhere repressed. The world stands on the brink of the Orwellian abyss.

People who are unwilling to examine their prejudices are said to be closed-minded. The notion that all fundamental philosophical questions have been answered is the ultimate mind closer. The world is filled with closed-minded people and most of them will never be influenced by appeals to reason, but that does not excuse any one of us as individuals from dragging out and examining under the cold light of reason even our most cherished prejudices.

The world may not be ready to give up its myths, but there is no law of the universe that says we cannot understand something merely because our ability to make a living depends on our not understanding it.

As soon as one of our assumptions is questioned or its opposite averred by even one solitary soul, it becomes incumbent upon us to drop the contested claim as an assumption and provide for it, instead, a proof. If the claim be metaphysical, it must be supported by reasonableness, aesthetics, and utility. That’s what I believe. None of us is completely open-minded. I am curious to know, however, why there is such a great disparity between what one can say to an individual and what one can say to the general public.

To summarize, we accept much falsehood for two important reasons:

most of what we believe was learned before we were able to examine its reasonableness critically
we are bombarded by lies every single day of our lives

Adding remarks: The Golden Rule
We've ended up in a society that is aware of itself, but unable to change it.

The awareness has created a 'happy schizophrenic' attitude on an individual level, often combined with an increasing lack or willingness to invest in each other or collective and social initiatives.

There is - without any guarantee- a way out. Live your life according to the principle

'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'

Try to live up to this principle 'by heart' and not just because of fear. This principle is the leading principle, the Golden Rule, in most cultures, philosophies and religions [Christianity (Luke 6:31), Confucius (Analects 15:23), Buddhism (UdanaVarga 5:18) ], except for the Islam, as it is not mentioned in the Quran. However, a very restricted version of the principle of reciprocity can be found in Imam al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths (Number 13) where the Golden Rule only applies only among "brother" Muslims.

Still the golden rule is a basic relativistic-logic ethic and one of the most universal moral codes known.

Anyhow, let's go for a better world and start with ourselves....

Sources:
- Ethics Of Reciprocity
- Versions of the Golden Rule in 21 world religions
- Where is the golden rule in the Quran?

Route in Life

2009-08-27T21:00:00.004+02:00

Do you also intent to follow the simplest, direct or easiest route in Life?
Right you are....
Going from A to B in life is like a risk management game.
As the captain of your Body&Mind-Ship (BMS) heading for a New Land at Port Novaya Zemlya, you'll have three starting issues:

Three starting issues

Define your target (B): Know where you want to go in life
Define your starting point (A): Know Where an Who you are in life
Define your Route: Know How you want to go from A to B

In terms of risk management there are two main targets:

Main Risk Management Targets

Long term Target
Reach your final target (Novvaya Zemlya)
Short term Target
Avoid short time risks, tackle problems along the way (avoid ice floes)

So, what kind of approach is right for reaching your goal?

If you concentrate too much in life on your 'final goal' or you want to achieve your goals too fast or too direct, you'll certainly hit a short term problem, like an ice floe, and end up crashed as a hero or a martyr.
If you concentrate too much on the short term problems in your life, you'll loose sight on your final goal and certainly fail to reach Novaya Zemlya.

The solution of this paradox is (of course) to concentrate on the short term goals as well as keep an eye on the long term goal at the same time.

The optimal route?
But what is the best strategy for finding the optimal route in life?
Take a look at the next map to find out the best strategy for this ship.

Strategy I: Don't think, go to your target in a straight line
The most logical route from A to B would of course be a straight line. However following this line as a blind man would certainly lead to failure.

Strategy II: Keep as much is possible to the straight line
As BMS captain might look like the 'best strategy' solution. This is how we often directly respond in life when we do not succeed in getting what we want the way we planned it.
Often this route is 2 to 3 times longer than the 'straight line route' and does not always guarantee that you reach your goal in the labyrinth of life.
As mostly in life , the best advice is....

Strategy III: Get help and plan!
As BMS captain with the right attitude and perseverance to succeed, you consult your friends and foes and draw yourself the best possible satellite map, so that you'll be able to oversee the 'seascape' of your life, with all relevant problems, like ice foes ahead.
Often this optimal ice route is 1.5 times longer than the 'straight line route', but it guarantees the highest success rate.

But what to do if you have no information at all? That's when thinking and mathematics come in, or it gets time for an alternative approach before you freeze in reaching for Novvaya Zemlya....

Moving targets

2009-08-27T20:53:00.000+02:00

I once asked one of my business unit managers with regard to an important project, if he was still on course and how things were going.

He answered friendly:
My ship's on course......
But the port moves !

Sometimes, when you are totally focused on achieving your predefined goals, when you're right on schedule and your project looks perfect...... You can be sure your project will fail. Why? Because while working on your project the environment changes, so you need somebody in your project that constantly checks the defined project targets against the changing environment.

So always, while working keep your head up!

Success

2009-08-15T23:39:00.001+02:00

We all want to be successful. But what is success?

Success could perhaps be defined as achieving the Result you want by using your core Qualities at the right Time given the right Circumstances (place,people,weather, atmosphere).

In formula: R = Q x T x C

Another way of looking at success has been defined by Hevizi:

It’s not WHAT you know.

It is not WHO you know.

It is not HOW you deliver.

It is ALL of it.

In the new world of tough competition for positions, careers and recognition it is important to remind ourselves that it takes 3 to be successful and compete.

We can look at this as the following formula:

SUCCESS = IQ * EQ * XQ

Success explained
A more sophisticated, humorous yet interesting approach of success has been defined by Alain de Botton in the next TED video. Alain examines our ideas of success and failure:
Is what you define as success really your personal defined success or perhaps the unconscious copied succes definition of somebody else?

He points out that believing in winners and loosers is a narrow and wrong way of defining the world. On top of this, he gives randomness a place in the definition of success and stresses that there can be no success without loss....

Philosophy of Success

Wrapped up, success could be defined as being satisfied and happy with your choices, actions, gains and losses.....

So never give up, discover the secrets of success and enjoy it!

Youtube Success Links:
Quest for success
Success by Deepak Chopra

Crisis: Don't slam the brakes on

2009-06-21T09:05:00.001+02:00

Dutch Minister of Health, Ab Klink, recently stated the Dutch Cabinet:
My father always said: As your caravan starts to snake (roll), don't slam the breaks on, but (gently) accelerate.

Although this wisdom could apply in certain circumstances, generally it's not true.

When your caravan is snaking, it's best to follow the next DSA advice:
Don't brake harshly or you could loose control completely. Don't accelerate either, for the same reasons. Just simply ease off the accelerator until the unit is brought back under control.

Sometimes in relationships, with heart/mind problems or in crisis situations this is the best advice as well. Don't drop down or let go all things around you and don't try to force your way out. Simply let go the accelerator and wait for things to stabilize until you'll get grip on the situation again.

In general, to prevent snaking life situations as much as possible, surround yourself with stabilizers, e.g. 'good advice friends'. Good friends keep each other on the road.

Links:
- Caravan Rules of thumb
- Caravan Formules

Influenced Decisions

2009-06-21T00:19:00.004+02:00

We all think our decisions are made in a professional and rational manner.

Too bad, nothing is less is true! Decisions are strongly influenced by the way we present our proposals.

Influenced Decisions
In a splendid TED Video Presentation called 'Are we in control of our own decisions' (half an our fun and learning!) , Dan Ariely, an Israeli professor of behavioral economics and head of the eRationality research group at the MIT Media Lab, shows the astonishing effect of how decisions can be fundamentally changed by adding dummies in proposals:

First experiment
Ariely tested the next ad on the website of the Economist.com on a group of 100 MIT students:

As expected, most students wanted the combo deal (84%). Students can read, so nobody wanted the middle option.

But now, if you have an option nobody wants, you can take it off. Right? So Ariely tested another version of this ad on another group of students, eliminating the middle option. This is what happened:

Now the most popular option (84%) suddenly became the least popular (32%). And the least popular (16%) became the most popular (68%) option.

What happened was that the 'useless' option in the middle, was useless in the sense that nobody wanted it. But it wasn't useless in the sense that it helped people figure out what they wanted. In fact, relative to the option in the middle, which was get only the print for $125, the print and web for $125 looked like a fantastic deal. And as a consequence, people chose it.

The general idea here is that we actually don't know our preferences that well. And because we don't know our preferences that well we're susceptible to all of these influences from the external forces.

Second experiment
People believe that when they see somebody, they immediately know whether they like that person or not. Ariely decided to put this statement to the test.

He showed his students a picture of Tom and a picture of Jerry (real people in practice). Then he asked "Who do you want to date? Tom or Jerry?" But for half the people he added a slightly less attractive (photoshopped) version of Jerry. For the other half of the students he added a slightly less attractive (ugly) version of Tom.

Now the question was, will ugly Jerry and ugly Tom help their respective, more attractive brothers?

The answer was absolutely YES. When ugly Jerry was around, Jerry was popular. When ugly Tom was around, Tom was popular.

Conclusions: The Dummy Effect
What can we conclude from these two experiments?

When you let people chose between two options, their decision might be positively influenced by adding a third 'slightly less attractive version' (the dummy) of the option you value as most favorable. So decisions are susceptible to options manipulation.
Be aware of the Dummy-Effect when someone adds a dummy option in a choice you'll have to make. If your decision without the dummy is not the same as with the dummy option, try to investigate why. Don't take a decision until you've found out why.
Both decisions, with or without dummies, are 'rational'.
Therefore your 'rational decision' depends more than you're inclined you think on the character, the completeness and the description of the options. Your personal preference becomes more or less irrelevant if the options are incomplete. So think twice about possible 'missing options' before you take a final decision.

From now on...
Now that you've become aware of this dummy-effect, life will never be the same again. You've become conscious of the way the options in a proposal can influence a decision. This gives you the opportunity to take more enriched decisions. It also places you in a more responsible position when you develop proposals for others. Straight proposals will be 'cleaner' than before ('undummied') and also include an explanation about the way a proposal is structured and presented.

Links
- Book Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely
- MIT Center for future banking

Job Application Interview

2009-04-25T23:45:00.002+02:00

Do you recognize the flabbergasted feeling that occurs when, after a 'splendid' job interview, you come home with a positive feeling and the day after you are rejected?

Although you thought you performed well in the interview, somewhere, somehow, you missed the boat.

What went wrong?

Well, apart from the general pitfalls in a job interview and the trivial explanations of a rejection, most probably things went wrong due to lack of proper communication.

Probably, when you're having an interview, you'll take notes.
Because you're focused on getting the job, you're inclined to (only) write down the positive aspects of the job and the conversation.

This will definitely give you a biased view on the outcome of the interview. You simply miss or underestimate the minor or negative remarks in the interview.

How to solve this?

This is what you can do to get a more realistic idea about the outcome of the interview.

Listen
First of all, make sure you listen well.
Take Notes
Be careful not just to write down your personally important or spectacular issues (e.g salary, benefits, car, etc), but especially note (and write down!) small remarks, advices or 'used adjectives' of the interviewer.
Split in Negatives and Positives
Split your note paper in left and right, and put the positive issues (the Positives) on one side and the negative issues (the Negatives) on the other side.
Manage the Negatives
Make sure to write down every single negative issue or negative adjective, no matter how small. Don't ignore these Negatives. By questioning, make sure you understand them right and manage them one by one. If you're not able to get those negatives from the table or to put them in quarantine, they might kill you in the end without you realizing it. So:

Manage the Negatives instead of counting the Positives
Feedback
At the end of the conversation ask for feedback and check by asking the interviewer to summarize your Positives and Negatives. If any Negatives are left, handle them with care right there.
Don't fake
Don't try to reason away negatives that are clear facts. If that would imply a rejection, be happy, because you are not qualified for this job and therefor wouldn't be happy in this job as well.

Evaluating an interview is not simply balancing Positives with Negatives. Even a single Negative can screw it up.

P/N-Method
Anyway, this Positives/Negatives Method is not only applicable in case of a job interview, but can be used in every "beauty parade", contract negotiation or proposal you try to defend.

Next time, with a positive attitude, keep your 'sixth sense' on the potential Negatives and manage them!

Time Perspective

2009-04-16T23:13:00.002+02:00

According to Philip Zimbardo, we all develop a specific attitude towards time (Time perspective).

Past, present or future orientated?
In The Time paradox Zimbardo explains that people turn out to be primarily past, present or future orientated. Each perspective has a detailed possible orientation (focus):

It's clear that our now-actions strongly depend on our perception of the present and the future. This perception has has been influenced by how we perceived the past. Therefore, our future actions will be influenced by how we perceive the present - as it appears to us right now - as well.

Form this we may conclude that our future happiness is strongly defined by how (positive) we experience the 'now'.

Experiencing the 'now' as a positive and constructive phase in your life, even in times of adversities, demands a conscious mind and a healthy style of thinking.

Healthy thinkstyle perspective
Based on research and his own definition of a 'healthy thinkstyle' in life , Zimbardo developed an ideal time perspective score (red dots):

Take the test
If you wonder what your Time perspective score is, take the test:

Take the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory

Changing Time Perspective
As you grow up, your Time-perspective changes.
When you're young, you're almost not influenced by your past and you don't worry about your future, you just live in the present and simply take what comes.

As you grow up, you've learned from the past and become conscious of the consequences of your actions. You think about your future, feel responsibility and are able to postpone actual benefits in exchange for (more or increased) future benefits.

When we grow old, the past will influence and determine our actions more and more until our last phase in life, where future and present transform in a kind of transcendental state. In this stage your present and decisions are from another order. Physically you're here on good old earth, but in a spiritual way you've already risen to your new destiny.....

Zen-Present
However, back to the present., Zimbardo continues that living in the present can also be in a Zen-like perspective, illustrated by the next sanskrit verse:

Yesterday is already a dream and tomorrow but a vision
But today 'well lived' makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope

So it's you who can create a heaven on earth.

Use Zimbardo's time-perspective to be(come) like you wanna be.

Collective Behavior

2009-03-30T12:20:00.000+02:00

Understanding collective and individual behavior are key to a successful life.

Take a look at the next picture:

It's clear that the little fish here, have a problem.

What's also clear, is that random actions of an individual fish are not likely going to change the situation.

In the next picture, by coordinating behavior, a way has been found to solve 'the problem' :

This solution looks very simple, the question is how to organize this kind of collective "big fish" behavior?

The problem is that often first movers don't benefit from a collective approach in the first stage:

First movers take a risk by sticking out their neck. The are not sure that their fellows will follow. They also take the risk that their actions turns against themselves.

It turns out that one way to get individuals to coordinate their behavior is through morality.

Morality
Our natural sympathy for other people, our fear of shame and even our feelings of guilt, are often enough to stimulate us to participate in a successful collective action.

Albeit it's discussable what the origins of morality are, it's clear that morality can help us to overcome that 'first mover period'. Groups that use concepts like fairness, reciprocity, trust, guilt, and shame, often do better than rival groups.

Interested?
In an excellent essay called A Business Plan for Catalyzing Collective Action , The Point explanes how how these cooperative mechanisms can be created.

Examples
Collective rational or even emotional behavior often plays a decisive role in our society, as may be clear from the 2009 credit crisis turmoil and the escalating bonus madness.

Be aware of individual and collective behavior.

Study "collective behavior mechanisms" and certainly don't forget to integrate the key principles of this collective behavior into your personal Life Plan.

Bounded Freedom

2009-02-28T11:31:00.003+01:00

Freedom is great. But there's no freedom or liberty without borders.
Too much freedom will cause chaos, will damage others or even yourself.

Boundaries are essential for developing ourselves and relationships with each other, for our ability to give and receive love, for spiritual growth, and for a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

However, boundaries are often violated and we ask ourselves what we can do about it.

In their book 'When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life', psychologists Cloud and Townsend show how to set reasonable boundaries in relationships.

On their website you'll gain sound advice on boundary matters. On their website, just fill in a search word, click and simply watch the correspondent video (example) !

Example
In 'How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding' the next example has been given:

Leviticus 19:17 states: "Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt"

The word rebuke here is not necessarily an adversarial word. It can mean to "reason together" or to "correct." This verse directly ties our resentment to our failure to talk to someone about something.

In addition, if we avoid confrontation, we share guilt in the problem, we are enabling the problem. To the extent that we are not talking to someone, we are part of the problem and have very little right to be as angry as we sometimes get.

Therefore you should hold someone accountable, when he does something you do not want.

Going one step further:

To the extent you allow someone to do something you resent, you are responsible for the consequences.

Laws
Cloud and Townsend have als developed some boundary principles.

As a shortcut, their Ten Laws of Boundaries :

Sowing and Reaping
Our actions have consequences. Someone will bear them.
Don’t interrupt this law by regularly bailing others out.

Responsibility
We are responsible 'to', not 'for' each other.
We are to love one another, not be one another.

Power
We do not have power over other people.
We hardly have enough power over ourselves

Respect
If we wish our boundaries to be respected we must respect those of others.
For with the measure you use, you will be measured.

Motivation
We must be free to say 'no' before we can wholeheartedly say 'yes'.
“Acts of love” are worthless if we don’t feel to have a choice

Evaluation
We need to evaluate the effects our boundaries cause others.
Hurt and harm are not the same – pain may eventually lead to growth

Proactivity
Boundaries must express what you stand for, not just what you are against.
Solve problems on the basis of your values, wants, and needs

Envy
We will never get what we want if we focus on what others have.
Envy keeps us empty and unfulfilled

Activity
We need to take the initiative to solve our problems.
Don’t wait for your partner to take the first step

Exposure
Boundaries must be communicated.
Otherwise they are invisible to others

Applying these rules, looks simple, but is hard to do. However, they make the difference in life.

The best freedom is 'Bounded Freedom' !

The Real YOU

2009-02-21T11:27:00.012+01:00

Perhaps it'll be disappointing and hard to acknowledge, but there's no objective 'Real YOU'. There's only the 'Perceived YOU', perceived by others or yourself and strongly dependent on the context you're operating in.

Here's the simple proof.

Read out loud, from top to bottom, the next three characters:

This was quite simple, wasn't it?
Let's go to step two.

Now read out loud, from left to right, the next three characters:

Now read out loud the character in the middle:

The middle character
The character in the middle isn't just the letter 'B' nor is it the number '13', it has the potention of being both. Only when it is 'perceived', it takes a definitive value (appearance), depending on the character context and the characteristics of the perceiver.

If the context is a story or a literal phrase, the character will be perceived as the letter "B". If the context consists of numbers, the character will be perceived as number "13".

No context?
What if there is no context (not possible) or very little and we show up just the character in the middle?

In general, apart from context, a perceiver P Rates or measures a target T on an attribute X can be defined as:

R_x(P,T,R) = Perceiver effect + Target effect + Relationship effect + Constant

In case with no context and very little Target- or Relationship Effect, the perception depends (almost) totally on the identity and experiences of the perceiver (Perceiver Effect).

If the perceiver is a writer or has a non-science background, the character will probabely be perceived as the letter "B". In case of a scientist, or mathematician, the character will mostly be seen as the number "13".

The Real YOU
Now with you, yourself, it's just the same. There is no objective or context-independent "Real YOU". There is no YOU without others. There's only the YOU that's perceived by others or yourself (self reflection).

So think twice about how you pick your context (friends, social environment, employer, town). If you don't like the way people perceive you, change or reprogram your habits and consider picking a new 'context'.

Quantum mechanics
In fact the same principles as in "quantum mechanics" apply:

If you measure 'light' as a wave, you'll perceive it as a wave.
If you measure 'light' as a particle, you'll perceive it as a particle.
If you would have 'measured' it as anything els, like 'weight', 'energy' or a 'potato', it would have been perceived as 'that' as well.

So the question is not whether 'light' is a wave or a particle. 'Light' is neither, it has only 'wave' of 'particle' properties (attributes).

Back to YOU
It's the same with people that have a perception of YOU. They'll value you at their biased percepted properties. Just like yourself, they'll never get to know the ultimate 'real you', it simply isn't there.

So this means the real YOU is mainly the YOU IN OTHERS (apart from your narcissistic biased self). That's why it's so important to choose friends in life that believe in YOU.

Only real friends will accept you without conditions. They recognize and reflect your initial intentions in life ( You=Me principle) and therefore accept to live an fight with all of your good an bad (perceived) 'properties' (personality, habits, etc).

The real you is 'there'
Don't get mixed up now you found out the 'real you' doesn't 'exist'. It only means the 'real you' isn't perceivable, visible or knowable (only the attributes).

The real you is out there where no living human being has access to (let's cal it the i-dimension). It's very valuable, enjoy it in life, it's a gift.......

Cross View Quadrants

2009-02-01T16:11:00.012+01:00

When you're balanced in life, the 'art' is to keep it that way.
The Cross View Quadrant (CVQ) helps you to stay dynamically balanced.

This is how CVQ helps:

Just ask your best friend(s) to write down your best and improvable (worst) capabilities (character, skills, competences) on paper.
Independently, write down yourself, what you think your best and most improvable capabilities are.
Now draw a cross table (4 quadrants) of the two papers.

How to deal with the four quadrants to keep balanced or improve your relationship?

A. Quadrant ++
This quadrant contains your positive capabilities that you and your friend agree on.

Enjoy those capabilities and be sure to spend enough time with each other to keep sharing them with your friend.

However, if both of you only find positive points and no differences, be aware. The risk that both of you are too entangled and have developed a follies a deux is substantial. If, in the future, the environment changes, differences will show up.
Go back and try to find minor or weak qualities, if necessary discover yourself with help of the core quality test.

B. Quadrant - -
This quadrant contains your negative or most improvable capabilities you and your friend agree on.

Together with your friend try to find out, if it's realistic or desirable to improve your capabilities or not. If not, confirm, accept - and sometimes - even learn to enjoy them. If improvable, ask for your friends help and feedback to improve your capabilities.

C. Quadrant + -
This quadrant contains positive capabilities that you think you have. However your friend doesn't recognize or mention them, or even thinks they're your weakest points.

There are several ways to deal with this:

You're sure of this strong point, but your friend doesn't like it
Be sure this is really a strong capability, by checking with other friends. If so, learn to accept and respect your friends flavor. Keep this point in your pocket and save it for other friends. Don't try to convince your friend (in hours of discussions) of this strong quality of yours, it could start to undermine your relationship.
Your friend criticizes your best quality as weak
Try to find out if you're 'over the hill' and what originally was a fine quality has become 'too much of a good thing'.
Anyhow, keep more of this quality respectful in your pocket.
You haven't been able to demonstrate your strong point yet
Simply show it!

D. Quadrant - +
This quadrant contains positive capabilities your friend recognizes in you, but you don't think you have them, experience them as negative or are unconscious about them.

This is the most trickiest quadrant. Let's discuss the options:

You're unconscious of the strong points addressed
If you were unconscious of the strong points addressed by your friend, think why? Now you are aware of this quality, enjoy it, don't go 'demonstrating' it, but keep using it spontaneously and in a relaxed way.
You think this positive point is not (that of) a quality of yours
It's tricky to mention and discuss this, certainly in a business relationship.

Most promotions and appointments are done by bossing bosses who think they know you well. They have a positive biased view on your capabilities. Moreover, they often select you because they notice that you have the same qualities as they have.

By discussing your qualities, your boss could become disappointed because it now turns out he had the wrong view. He might also think that you and he are not 'on the same page', or he might even be offended.

So if your boss thinks you're super intelligent, a top sales executive or a born leader, think twice before you disappoint him by denying or discussing it.

Try to listen and find out why your boss thinks the way he does. This might give you a new sight on yourself.

Success in applying the CVQ in business and life!

Freeware: Table to Excel converter

2009-01-19T18:56:00.002+01:00

Do you recognize this? Sometimes you spend hours copying a simple table from a WORD-document, Internet Page or PDF-file to your (Excel) spreadsheet.
What should take about two minutes work, ends in frustration. Finally you decide to fill your spreadsheet by hand.

These times are over. With the next simple javascript application, called

Table Converter

, you'll be able to copy most tables to your spreadsheet in minutes.

Success!

The price of knowledge

2009-01-09T20:22:00.006+01:00

Sometimes difficult questions have easy answers, just like some complex problems have simple solutions.

Last night the TV-set got stuck. No signal, nothing. Self fixing failed.

Within 15 minutes 'TV Repair Services' knocked at my door. An old guy came in. After a short "Where?" I showed him my antique TV-set. For a moment he glanced at the dead set and after a simple "Ah.." he took a small hammer out of his bag and precisely tapped on the top left side of the set. Within a second the TV was back on.

"That'll be $ 25.25" he said dryly.

"$ 25,25 !", I stuttered back, "Just for tapping with this hammer? Can you specify that?"

"Yeh", he replied, "that's 25 cents for tapping with the hammer and 25 dollar for knowing where to tap".

As always in life: Knowledge has its price.

Next time you have a TV breakdown, don't mix things up by hammering yourself or hiring a next door 'hammer man'.
It's not about the hammer, it's about the knowledge and experience of people that help you.

So if you take advice for a complex (financial) matter, don't bother paying a substantial fee for a sound and simple advice. And never ever hire amateurs. Remember the old saying:

If you pay peanuts, you'll get monkeys

On the other hand, just paying respectable fees doesn't guarantee a sound advice at all. So always hire a real trusted professional and ask for credentials.

Sometimes even free advices raise our level of knowledge.....

Picture source: Arlington

Born Good or Bad? Polya helps

2008-12-24T10:34:00.030+01:00

Were you born 'Good' or 'Bad'? The answer to this question can be given with help of mathematics!

Let's start with a simple model. When you were born, you had only a limited number of experiences. Let's assume you came to earth quite neutral, with one 'Good' (G) and one "Bad" (B) experience.
At this point in time, your (still unconscious) attitude and therefore expectation of a 'Good' (B) outcome of your next experience, will be 50%.

In line with the expression "You'll always reap what you sow" (Gal 6:7), or associative translated "You'll become what you X" (with X ='Think', 'Eat', 'Are', etc.)", your next experience will indeed turn out to be equally G or B.

Let's assume that providence decided, the outcome is G. Now you've become a more optimistic person. Your experience-bucket is filled with two G's and one B (experience), so your subjective 'colored' outlook on G's is 66,66% (2/3=[2 G's/(2 G's + 1 B)]) . You also look back on a relatively Positive Life Score of PLS=66,66% G's.
Would you have experienced a 'B score' instead, it would be the other way around and as a potential pessimist your outlook and PLS would have been lowered to 33,33% .

But happily you're a 66,66% (!) G-Score-optimist and life goes on. According to the same principles, the probability of scoring a new G-experience is now 66,66% instead of 50%.

As you may already notice, your PLS will more and more develop according your personal historical G- an B-experience track record.

A few questions that may rise, are:

Does your Positive Life Score (PLS) has a limit? And if so, what's that limit?
Once you're in a pessimistic phase, what are the changes of getting out?

Here's were the help of a great mathematician, George Pólya, comes in, by modeling the above situation in what is called:

Polya's Urn model
An urn contains G₀ Green (Good) and B₀ Black (Bad) balls. One ball is drawn randomly from the urn and is then placed back in the urn together with an (extra) ball of the same color.

Our Good&Bad exercise turns out to be a simplified two color Polya Urn Model (G₀=1,B₀=1) that is part of a large family of General Urn Models.

Properties
It turns out that this model has the following (translated)properties:

On any given moment in your life if you do not know what kind of balls have been drawing before, the expectation of drawing a Good or Bad ball (experience) is always G₀=G0/(G₀+B₀) =50%.
On any given moment in your life, gaining a Good or a Bad experience depends on the track record of G&B experiences in your life. So if you've experienced G Good experiences and B Bad experiences, your changes of experiencing a next Good experience are equal to the track record of your Positive Life Score : PLS_(G+B)=G/(G+B)
The relative influence of a G or B experience on the PLS decreases rapidly as the number of total experiences increases. Your PLS has a definitive limit in (life)time with equal changes of outcome on the interval [0,1].
As is clear from some simulations, the first 10 to 20 experiences in our life determine whether we'll become an optimist (PLS_(∞)> 0.75) or an pessimist (PLS_(∞)<0,25).
Moreover, the first 5 to 10 experiences in your life already determine the direction of our PLS in life. This means that our parents and teachers have an important role in guiding us in our baby and youngster phase to a positive balanced number of experiences (a more than average PLS).

For example if on a given moment in life you have had 4 Bad experiences and 1 Good, the probability of having a next Good experience is 20%. What's more frustrating is that the probability in this case to get in three steps to a 50% level is only about 3% (=1/5*2/6*3/7) . This illustrates the heavy responsibility of our parents and teachers.

That's why it's for example so difficult to change your religion. Once the first 50 religion experiences have been brought in by your parents, it's hard to change from Budha to Allah or Christ, or the other way around.
Once a more than average PLS is achieved, we're more likely to absorb a Bad experience without getting unbalanced. Parents and teachers can 'let go'.

Keep in mind, Polya's Urn is only a think-model to help you to become aware of the important mechanisms that play a role in becoming 'who you are' or 'what you'll be'.

Change?
Once you become experienced in life and your PLS direction has been set, you can only change this by either a Professional De or Re-programming (PDR) or a, what is called, Life Changing Experience (LCE). In PDR Bad experiences are taken away (i.e. out of the urn) and replaced by Good experiences, to regain trust and a higher confidence (PLS) level. In LCE's, your environmental or physical circumstances suddenly chance in such a way that you are forced to experience only just B (or just G) experiences. Another LCE is created by the change of context. What before were B experiences now turn out to be G experiences (or the other way around).

What if?
There are many other aspects that could be studied in relation to the Polya model. For example:

What would be the effect if an experience is not just only Good or Bad, but a mix.
What if a 'Good experience' doesn't trigger extra positive confidence (an extra G) but a negative experience (an extra B).

The answer in both cases is that almost always the PLS-limit=50% !, in other words: You'll become average.

But how does a little bit of extra Bad (or Good) influence the PLS limit? If you want to experiment and learn more about Good and Bad, go and visit Polya's Urn Experiment or look up the Math behind Polya's Urn

Math helps us to discover who we are or what we become...

Our Beat

2008-12-14T17:07:00.015+01:00

From the moment we were born, 'our beat' has been set.

No matter what we do or say, 'our beat' in life go's on. No matter who we are or pretend to be, we're not able to oversing or shout down 'our beat'.

In every phase of life we play a different tune. As baby sometimes clumsy, but charming. As a child ambitious, but still fuzzy. As adult classic and convincing, as if we have become 'our tune' instead of 'our beat'.

But we're neither the notes we play, nor the space between them. Our tune plays on the background and 'our beat' keeps leading, whether we like it or not. Others may help us to find out in life what other tunes fit 'our beat', but they wont be able to change 'our beat'

Until finally 'our beat' slows down and we have to face our final moment, when 'our beat' transforms our tunes, guided by angels, in a new universal image, that'll beat(le)s you.

You won't stay beatless, and you can't beat 'your beat' in life, but you may try.

Now with this in mind listen to the next song. Can you distinguish the tune from the beat, the baby form the adult, life form death?

Try me 2 |

Your life in 5.16 minutes...
(Play it loud on professional stereo equipment)

Client Lifetime Value (CLV)

2008-12-02T16:12:00.001+01:00

In a Harvard Business Review called "Why satisfied customers defect", Jones & Sasser explain that even a 80% 'satisfied clients score', is no guarantee for sustainable success.

Common management misconceptions are:

A client satisfaction level below complete or total satisfaction is adequate.
It's not profitable to invest in changing customers from 'satisfied' to 'completely satisfied'.

Their conclusion is that, in most cases, 'complete customer satisfaction' is key in order to secure customer loyalty and generate sustainable financial performance.

Loyalty & Satisfaction
Despite of what sometimes intuitively is assumed, the relationship between loyalty and satisfaction is in most cases not linear, but depends on the competition level of a specific market segment.

In a Dutch presentation, called "CRM Myths", direct marketing professor Janny Hoekstra confirms this relationship and shows that even 'satisfied clients' are in the so called 'indifference zone'.

The 'art of client management' is obviously to create 'Apostles' and to avoid creating 'Terrorists'.

So stimulate, instead of discourage, your clients to give you feedback and to complain, because this is the only way to create new apostles.

NPS
A relatively new and, according to Harvard (The One Number You Need to Grow), probably better method to measure client loyalty is the 'Net Promoter Score' (NPS). Simply score your clients on a 0-10 points scale on the question: "Would you recommend company X ?'

Now simply calculate the NPS score (%) as:
NPS = Promoters% (rating 9&10) - Detractors% (rating 6 or less)

NPS scores of 75% or more prove world class loyalty.

Loyalty effect
Another, intuitively driven, perception is that the more customers are loyal, the more they generate profit.

In general this seems true, however as Hoekstra shows: not every 'more loyal' client is also per definition 'more profitable'.

Just like Reinartz (Insead) stated in his article : 'Not all custumors are equal'.

Reinartz defines different client groups called: Butterflies, Strangers, True Friends and Barnacles.

Each group urges a different approach in a Customer Client Strategy.

Investing in 'True friends' appears essential and eventually pays out.

Customer Lifetime Value
Actuaries that combine marketing an actuarial sciences could help by defining and calculating what is called: The Customer Lifetime Value (CLV)

The CLV of a specific client(group) could be defined as the discounted value of the yearly margin (m = profits - costs), with discounting rate (i) and the (client) retention rate (r).

CLV:Rule of thumb
In the strongly simplified case with constant margin, the CLV - as a rule of thumb - could be defined as the margin (m) multiplied with the so called margin multiple = r/(1+i-r).

Example: Discount rate = i =12%, Retention rate = r = 90%, results in a CLV of approximately 4 times the yearly margin.

As is clear from the formula and table above, the choice and impact of the discount rate is only significant in combination with a high (>90%) retention rate.

Modeling and creating Client Value is not only in the interest of the shareholder, but moreover a case of creating creating added value for clients, in particular 'best satisfied clients'.

More info at: Modeling CLV(insurance), Customer Metrics

Aerodynamic Career Style?

2008-11-17T21:35:00.017+01:00

Careers follow the laws of aerodynamics. There are two main opposite style types of making career. You may choose to become a "Balloon Career Maker"(BCM) or a "Wing Career Maker (WCM).

Let's start with the most traditional way to make career

The Wing Career Maker (WCM)
As a WCM you use the aerodynamic Lift effect to get higher on the career ladder.
Although the lift of an airplane is a combination of several effects, a substantial part is what's called the Bernoulli Effect. In short, the airplane gets lifted because the curved shape (airfoil) of a wing forces the air that flows above the wing to a higher velocity than the air under the wing. Depending on the shape and the angle of the wing, this causes a low pressure above the wing and a high pressure under the wing. The result is the desired lift. In formula :

L = K . v² . A

(L = Lift, K = shape dependent constant, v= velocity, A =wing Area)

The WCM works just like that. By being more productive (= increase speed v), creating support for his ideas and actions (= create a larger area A), the 'beginning manager' relieves (the stress of) his superior managers (= under pressure above the wing) and - at the same time - puts pressure on his employees to perform (= High pressure under the wing). The result is he gets promoted (= lifted).

As the formula shows, 'being more productive' has an emerging quadratic effect, while 'creating support' only has a simple single multiplier effect on promotion.

By being conscious of the lift formula effects, the WCM has the opportunity to change his management style (= shape) and approach (=angle) in a way that he may reduce and calibrate the employee 'pressure effect' to a healthy (optimal) level. Reduction however, will have a negative effect on his career speed. On the other hand this healthy pressure level will motivate his employees for better performance and eventually lead to better company results on the long term.

The crucial question here is, does senior management have sight and steer on these 'long term' effects or are they only managing short time result? In the first case, promotion will lay ahead.

Now let's look at the opposite style.

The Balloon Career Maker (BCM)
The BCM makes use of another aerodynamic effect called Hot Air Balloon Lift. The heated air inside a balloon weighs less than the surrounding ambient air displaced by the balloon. The difference in the air weights is the gross lift. In formula:

L = V.g.(ρ_a - ρ_i)

(L = Lift, V= Balloon Volume, g = gravity constant, ρ_i = density inside, ρ_a = density ambient )

As BCM you don't seem to worry about your productivity and career speed. You focus on your desires and needs. You cultivate the fire that's burning within you (= heating of the air).
You invest (=heat) in yourself through study and training and expose your skills to your environment (= the air gets hot).

As a consequence you'll get noticed by higher management, who'll recognize your knowledge. Your star will rise (= Volume increases), you'll get promoted (=Lift),because you're a professional help instead of a higher management threat.

What's best?
There's no 'best way' to make career. Just be who you are and try to take advantage of thermal updrafts so that you may fly, rise and fall, like a thermal plane without working like a hound dog or studying like a madman. Enjoy life, be a glider!

Zorro Decisions

2008-10-31T15:32:00.008+01:00

In times of change, success depends, more than ever, on taking the right decisions that have the support of your team or family.
Because of the importance of such decisions, by nature we're not inclined to take any alternative or more risky solutions. Instead we go on 'Save' and base our decision on our passed experiences and our preferred and filtered ways of taking in information and making decisions.

As team or family member we all are selective in what we see or hear. More over, in changing times most of us avoid unnecessary conflict. Neither do we like extra challenge, as our bow cannot always be bent. We're captured in what is called our confirmation bias.

To prevent possible failures in decision making, it's important to include the different views and (decision) qualities of our team (family) members in a balanced way.

To help to make better and more considered decisions, we may use the so called Z-Technique, that Sue Nash uses in her action learning programs. This technique is based on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

To remember it better, Steve Roesler , related this technique, that he called 'Decision z', to the tv and movie character Zorro. So we might call it the 'Zorro Decision' technique.

The Zorro Decision technique is based on 4 steps:

Sensing
Walk through and write down all possible facts and factual details.
Intuition
Take a 'big picture' approach to think 'long term'.
Write down all opportunities, possibilities, and connections between cause and effect.
Thinking
Write down and discuss all possible solutions. Each with their pros and cons, risks, benefits, consequences and likelihood.
Feeling
What impact does the decision have on other stakeholders or group members ( the 'people factor') How will you feel about the result? Will it gain support or meet opposition?

Remember Zorro next time you're about to take a group decision!

Sources: Sue Nash Consulting, Roesler Consulting Group

Manageable?

2008-10-28T20:18:00.009+01:00

In order to succeed in a certain action, we often develop an action plan, a process that defines sub-actions in terms of who, what, when and where.

To guarantee that we succeed as much as possible, we have to maximize the control of this process of sub-actions. Make the process manageable.

In managing this process it's important to identify the nature and co-dependency of your sub-actions.

In general it's important to characterize sub-actions as follows:

Characteristic	Understandable	Predictable	Solvable
Simple	++	++	++
Complicated	+	+	++
Complex	-	-	+
Chaotic	--	--	-

Examples

Characteristic	Example	Description
Simple	Doorbell	Single component/ process with defined output
Complicated	Watch	Several components working together with defined output
Complex	Weather	Many interdependent components with hardly predictable output.
Chaotic	Clouds (form)	No sub components to identify, output unpredictable

Always analyze and characterize the components or sub actions of your action plan.
Not doing so will certainly cause trouble.

Example
One of the causes of the 2008 credit crisis is that we try to manage an in essential 'chaotic process' as a 'complicated process'. More traditional regulation rules (or governance back up) won't stabilize the banking system on the long run (in fact they make it worse), because these rules would imply that the nature of the financial markets is known and can be captured in a controllable mathematical linear system.

Financial markets are complex and chaotic systems, just like the weather. This implicates that regulation should be much more focused on "Plan B" measures than on detailed rule based regulation.

This means that regulation has to be formulated in such a way that Banks, instead of proving more and more that they will 'never' be insolvent (e.g. calculated risk=0,5%, that can't be calculated!), are forced to deliver Plan B's in which they state how they'll act in the 'unexpected' case of insolvency or iliquidity (average at least once in 200 years).

Just like you've got an umbrella in your car (Plan B), because you know that even though the weather forecast was 'sunny', you never can tell precisely when it's going to rain.

Most processes in life turn out to be chaotic on the long run. Analyze and control them, but don't forget to (always) carry your "Plan B" in your pocket.

Performance equation

2008-10-10T19:55:00.001+02:00

What's result, what's performance, how can you manage it and does HR really help?

Difference between Result and Performance
Let's first distinguish between Result and Performance, simply stated:

Performance = Result / Potential

However, after setting the goals (i.e. the expected Results) the Potential (maximal Result that can be achieved) will almost certainly change due to all kind of changing external, non controllable or non influenceable, circumstances.

Performance related rewards and agreements should therefore always be made for different Potential-scenario's (bandwidth).

Board members, directors, employees, colleagues, friends, our kids, in short 'the contractor', should always be judged and rewarded on their actual performance and not on the results.
One of the main questions in this process is: Can the contractor control or influence the Potential?

Example
You committed to sell 100 books this year, being 0,1% of the national book market (Potential = 0,1% x 100.000 = 100)

Potential	Result	Performance
100	100	100%
50	75	150%
200	150	75%

From this it's clear that if national book sales (potential) would slink to 50%, selling 75 books results in a 150% performance. You would have done a great job, given the Circumstances!
The reverse, of course, is also true.

Performance: rule of thumb
On a personal level, Performance could - as rule of thumb - be defined as:

What you get done
=
[What you have]
x
[What you do with it]
x
[When, Where and How you do it]

Research done by John Purcell, Boxall and others, based on original marketing research of Jaworski(1989), show that successful firms have better people and better processes.

It seems that High Performing Organizations create success based on three pillars:

Human Capital Advantage (HCA)
Organization Process Advantage (OPA)
Organization Citizenship behaviour (OCB)

The AMO model
Professional people management is vital in creating these advantages.

Research and practise led to the development of the so called AMO Model.

P = f (A, M, O)

With P = Performance, A = Ability, M = Motivation and O = Opportunity.

Simply said,people perform well when:

they are able to do so
they have the motivation to do so
their (work) environment supports and stimulates them

Although the relationship (e.g. covariance, etc.) between the AMO elements (A, M,O) can be complex, it's clear that if one of them is zero, the Performance itself will also be zero. That's why the AMO equation is sometimes simplified as:

P = A x M x O

The performance equation
Another similar development by Douglas Peters led to "The Performance Equation":

P = At * ([ K + S ]/ ER)

Where P=performance, At=Attitude, K=Knowledge, S=Skills and ER= Environmental Roadblocks.
Peters sets Attitude in place of Motivation, combines Skills and Knowledge in Ability and defines ER as negative (opposite) aspect of Opportunity

Motivation revealed
Motivation is one of the most important drivers behind High performance.

Let's dig in to the several aspects of Motivation. Motivation has been analyzed by Victor Vroom. Vroom's Expectancy Theory (1964) is based upon the following three beliefs:

Valence
The employee's defined (outcome) value of extrinsic rewards [money, promotion, time-off, benefits] or intrinsic rewards [satisfaction].
Expectancy
The employee's confidence end expectation of what they are capable of doing.
Instrumentality
The perception of employees whether they will actually get what they desire even if it has been promised by a manager.

Vroom states that these three aspects interact psychologically to create a motivational force such that the employee acts in ways that bring pleasure and avoid pain.

So according Vroom Motivation could be defined as:

M = E x I x V

Or in words, Motivation =

Expectancy: Perceived Probability of Success x
Instrumentality: Connection of Success and Reward x
Valence: Value of Obtaining Goal

Opportunity
Opportunity can be seen as everything in the environment that is necessary, supports, helps or sometimes blocks (negative opportunity) the performance of the contractor.
Charlie Cook defines Opportunities as Resources.

In fact Opportunities could be defined as:

O = R x H x C

With O = Opportunity, R = Resources, H = Help or support, C = Circumstances

Just to demonstrate: If you planned a BBQ and got enough meat (R) and matches (H), but it's raining cats and dogs (C), it's not what you would call a big opportunity.

Wrapping up
Wrapping up all Insights, Performance could be defined as:

P = A x M x O = S . K . E . I . V . R . H . C

With: S=Skills, K=Knowledge, E=Expectancy,I=Instrumentality, V=Valence, R=Resources, H=Help or support and C=Circumstances

Remember Performance is everywhere, not only in business.
Success in performing!

The Collapse of Chaos in your life

2008-10-09T14:29:00.000+02:00

Perhaps you think that if you have a consistent life-philosophy, your control your life and no great changes will take place?
Well,
you're probably wrong !
Even if we act in a stable consistent way, we keep interfering with our environment and our environment responses to us.

At first this response seems meaningless and of no value. You think you're consequent and your work and achievements in life seem relatively stable, perhaps a little bit chaotic and of no great significance. But in repeating the right things endlessly

Something will change
This change often will not appear as an evolution in your life, but as a kind of revolution, suddenly and most often unexpected.
Fore example, when you study, you'll probably once in a while think: what progress am I making?

But don't worry, if you keep on your track, there'll be a day your future suddenly comes to you (out of the blue: as a kind of emergent property) instead of "the you trying to make your future" in this Game of Life.

A good demonstration of this principle is

Langton's ant
Langton's ant is an virtual ant that starts out on a grid containing black and white cells, and then follows the following set of rules.

If the ant is on a black square, it turns right 90° and moves forward one unit.
If the ant is on a white square, it turns left 90° and moves forward one unit.
When the ant leaves a square, it inverts the color.

The result is a quite complicated and apparently chaotic, but relatively stable, motion. But after about 10.000 moves the ant starts to build a broad diagonal "highway".

So keep on your track and wait for

The collapse of chaos in your life

Trust or distrust?

2008-10-02T08:35:00.011+02:00

Without trust you can't live. It's "the" basic element in politics, business, management, friendship, love and life.

Now, trust is not an easy subject.

For example:

Research showed that women and men both lie about three times every 15 minutes in a simple conversation.
The average credibility of a CEO in western countries is below 30%.
Only just 40% finds it (very) easy to trust an accountant.

So you could ask yourself,

What is Trust?
There can be no trust unless you give it first.
And even with someone you fully trust, you'll have to cope with distrust.
If you think you won't.. Just the fact you consciously decided to trust someone, means that you implicitly considered the theoretical possibility that he or she could betray your trust. So distrust was on your table. Not considering distrust is naive or even risky and will in most cases end in a disappointment.

Let's look at some properties of these trust relationships:

Trust relationships:

are bipolar : Trust and Distrust
include ambivalence: Degrees of [dis]trust, Simultaneous trust and distrust
are multifaceted: We can both trust and distrust the same person in different contexts

Trust relationships are also two dimensional:

Let's look at how you can manage trust and distrust in the same relationship.

From this matrix we may conclude the next rules of thumb:

'Just' managing distrust, won't bring more trust.
If there is not enough trust, trying to manage distrust will escalate and lead to apathy and frustration. Once you're in this position, your relationship gets 'locked' and the both of you won't be able to manage your trust anymore.
Always start managing trust first.
In a situation with "low distrust" by giving 'more freedom', 'stimulating each other' and 'creating happy moments'.
In a situation with "high distrust" first by 'creating rules' and 'agreements' and (re)gain confidence in each other.

That's not all folks! It's just the start. Trust me.

Green & Clean

2008-09-30T12:39:00.000+02:00

One of the most impressive stories that illustrate the principles of management and delegation is given by Stephen Covey in his fantastic book called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People .

In this story called Green and Clean he illustrates four general principles that are important when you divide tasks. Wetter this is in your family or at your job. Wetter you're the boss or the employee. These principles lead to success!

Green & Clean
We were having a family meeting to divide the tasks in our family. My seven-year-old son, Stephen, volunteered to take care of the yard. Before I actually gave him a job, I took him next door to our neighbor's. "Look, son," I said. "See how our neighbor's yard is green and clean? That's what we're after: green and clean.	Set Target Set simple targets in a few words that everyone understand. No difficult or pagewide target definitions.
"Now before you decide whether or not you're going to take the job, let me tell you a few more things. Because when you take the job, I don't do it anymore. It's your job. I trust you to do the job, to get it done. Now who's going to be your boss?" "You, Dad?" "No, not me. You're the boss."	Define responsibility Delegate and clearly define the responsibility and mandate at the right level. Cut of dependent behavior.
"Now, guess who your helper is." "Who?" "I am," I said. "You boss me." "You tell me how I can help." "I'll do anything you want me to do."	Offer help Only after the target is set and the responsibility is defined: start helping Don't start helping in an earlier state. Otherwise things will end up in a mess.
Two weeks went and nothing happened. The yard was going down the drain. As I rounded the corner, I saw my son at the park across the street playing. I faked a smile and yelled across the street, "How's the yard coming?" Then we walked around the yard together. His chin began to quiver and tears welled up in his eyes.	Accept failure Delegating is a process. Accept that you don't succeed at once. Keep patience. Stand up as many times as necessary.
Than he finally asked for help. I helped him two or three more times that entire summer. After that, he himself took care of that yard . He kept it greener and cleaner than it had ever been.	Success Final Acceptance and taking responsibility. Using the above principles finally leads to the success you both wanted.

Covey is no narrow-minded or soft management-guru. On his website he states:

Human beings are not things needing to be motivated and controlled

They are four dimensional
body, mind, heart, and spirit

Dr. Stephen R. Covey
The 8th Habit
From Effectiveness to Greatness

As you see, the principles are all based on constructive communication.

Apply these simple principles everywhere and things will become a lot simpler in life.

Everything under control?

2008-09-28T17:12:00.004+02:00

Why is it we always have to control things?
Of course you need a certain amount of control to achieve your goals.
But too much control limits your creativity and output.

This is perfectly demonstrated by a quote of the famous Formula 1 driver Mario Andretti

If everything seems under control,
you're just not going fast enough !

So one of the secrets in life is to determine the right amount of control.

Control plays an important role in our life, as is demonstrated in the next quotes

Control Quotes

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you

If you don't control your mind, someone else will

Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think, you can't control what you do

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you.

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change

So, control your life but not too much !

We're all experts!

2008-08-06T12:47:00.002+02:00

Ever heard of the Dunning Kruger Effect (DKE)?

DKE is simply said:

Novices overestimate their performance,
Experts underestimate their performance.

According to nobel prize winners Dunning & Kruger (1999), people tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities and performance.

This overestimation mainly occurs when people are unskilled (novices: +500% overestimation !).

Novices (unskilled) have a dual burden:

They reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices
Their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize this

This also explains why self-assessments often fail. In general people are thinking they're really doing a great job.

According to Krajč & Ortmann (2007), the bad judgements (metacognity inability) that leads to flawed self-assessments, could be better explained as 'unbiased judgements based on biased information'.

Highly skilled people, the experts, suffer from the opposite. They tend to underestimate (10%) their performance.

However it's been proved that feedback, training and making people conscious of DKE, reduces the effect.

Just look around, DKE is omni-present:

We're all sports experts (soccer, golf, darts)
We all know how to raise kids
Most employees have a 'common sense' opinion about marketing, branding, HR
We're all employee and family coaches
We all understand the risks of war, nuclear power, skiing

So teach and be aware of what you really know, develop (your skills) in what you would want to know, get help an get sight on what you'll never know, be open to feedback and don't forget to enjoy life in the meantime.

How high can you reach?

2008-07-09T11:10:00.004+02:00

How high can you reach? What's your ultimate altitude?

With respect to what Jesse Jackson or Donald Trump are saying about that, I state that

Aptitude + Attitude = Altitude

In other words: the level that you reach is a combination of your natural given talents (aptitude) and your attitude.

To raise your altitude, you'll have to change and improve your attitude by learning.

This "learning" is well demonstrated by the English language trainer, Sreenadhachary, at a workshop on the "Importance of English Language in M.N.C.s".
Sreenadhachary trains Indian man and woman in learning English with simple principles:

A positive frame of mind and learning from mistakes are both needed to improve
Good learners make mistakes unknowingly and correct themselves knowingly
The glory lies not in avoiding a fall but in getting up every time you fall down

Sreenadhachary uses several other techniques to achieve that job aspirants improve their accent and try to speak English in the way an Englishman does.

However one general rule could be added:

"To Speak English", "Think English"

In fact this rule could be generally applied to an higher altitude and new principle or formula:

"To XXX YYY", "Think as YYY"
Where you could substitute for XXX verbs like "help", "fight", etc.
For YYY you could substitute all kind of nouns like "English", "your best friend", "God", "your enemy", etc.

By substituting different verbs verbs for XXX, you'll first conclude that it doesn't apply, but on a deeper thinking-level you'll grasp it, learn from it and know what to do.

A nice application of this Zen-like-thinking is a Sun Tzu like quote like:

To beat your enemy, think like your enemy
Be sure not to mesh up with the pitfall that "thinking like" is the same as "becoming-like".
By "thinking like thousand different people", you don't become like one of them, they'll all enrich you on your path, YOU !

However.. see what happens if you substitute "Think" by "Be" or "Become like" (i.e. "to beat your enemy, become your enemy"). Dare you?

Remember, it's your decision to change your attitude and to decide to make this day a beautiful day

Test Drive Paradox

2008-07-01T22:51:00.002+02:00

Does a test drive help, selling a car?

Let's take a look at what could be called the 'test drive paradox'!

Test drive paradox

E-factor :
The longer the test drive, the higher the closing rate
This is the Emotional factor. The longer you sit in the driver's seat, touch the car's interior, the more you're subconsciously convincing yourself that this car is yours. This is effect is called "taking mental ownership".

R-factor :
The longer the test drive, the lower the closing rate

In practice it's the initial state of a potential buyer that determines the change of the closing ratio during a test drive.

Let's distinguish two types of buyers:

Buyer type: Enthusiastic
This type is superenthusiastic. He loves the car, no matter what. In fact he doesn't need a test drive at all.
During a test ride he might become even more enthusiastic. The E-factor certainly applies here, but has done his work before the test drive. Only with extreme long test drives there's a risk (R-Factor) of lower closing rates concerning 'this' car..

Buyer type:Neutral
For this buyer type a test drive makes sense. A well trained car seller or a free 24 hour test car could do miracles. In any case it's the art of right timing to end the test drive and close the deal.
After this moment, closing rates dramatically go down.

Although perhaps tempting, don't apply 'car test driving' and closing rates on relationships or marriage. Don't take your partner for a test drive.

Just keep in mind that in every situation, something that is a mild distraction on a short test drive, it is likely to be infuriating on a long-distance trip.

Like a fly on a fly swatter

2008-06-27T15:03:00.004+02:00

In times of threat, suppression or intimidation, what's best to do?

The simplified options are:

Fight, oppose
Defend
Negotiate, compromise
Run, try to escape

However, in certain cases there's another option...

The fly swatter
Imagine you're a (butter)fly and are hounded by a fly swatter.

The first three options certainly won't help. Remains, few chances to escape.

But there's an alternative unnatural approach that could help.

Simply enter the lion's den and take a seat on the fly swatter instead of trying to escape it.

Please notice that you are not attacking the person behind the fly swatter, you just take place on the instrument that is used to beat you.

Sure, it'll take courage to execute such a strategy, but success is within reach.

Remember this new strategy next time you're suppressed or intimidated.

How to catch a fly?

2008-06-21T19:59:00.005+02:00

Recognize that feeling of the returning irritating fly that keeps you busy? You wave your hand, you 'swat' a bit, but mister fly keeps coming back. And what's worse, swats don't help. Your fly is faster than your hand or the fly swatter.

Fly catching methods
Flies have a very highly-evolved evasion reaction which helps to ensure their survival. On the internet you may find several methods for catching such a persistent fly. Of course you can use a fly swatter.

However..., you''l have to get up from your chair and find your fly swatter to conclude that flies don't usually show up when your swatter is around. The alternative is the so called 'desperately clapping both hands method'. This method fails most of the time and increases your bad temper level. If - by accident – it is successful, you'll have to get up anyway to wash your hands.

New fly catching method
Just by accident I found out a new way to catch a fly with a newspaper or (one) hand.

I noticed that if the fly was on the table and I blew softly (starting very soft, followed by increased blowing), it would not fly away. In fact the fly would secure his position by sticking his feet to the table. As "sticking his feet to the table" and 'flying away' are two opposite - not combinable - actions, you've got enough time to swat the fly with your hand or newspaper.

Background
This new technique of swatting flies finds his background in one of the many principles of the famous book The Art of War', written by the legendary Chinese general, military theorist and philosopher Sun Tze.

Attack when the enemy is not prepared and strike where he least expects it.

However keep in mind that Sun Tzu believed that the best strategy is to "win without fighting".

So fly, be a spider, make your web and find that new way in life....

Law of Risk Reality

2008-06-18T12:54:00.002+02:00

Good friends help us to develop ourselves. Over the years we learn who we can trust and what kind of situations we are able to manage and control.

Law of Risk Reality
No matter how strong our relationship, believe or professional skills have developed or grown, there is a constant increasing 'second non visible reality', the so called "Risk Reality", growing around us that will eventually become reality in a split second if we loose our carefulness or take our acquired abilities or relationships for granted.

Some simple examples as an illustration:

You too, Brutus?
On March 15, 44 BC, Julius Ceasar was killed by a group of senators. His last words "You too Brutus?" illustrate that, although he was a more than experienced leader, he had completely underestimated the situation and his relationship with Brutus.
Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin illustrated in his life that he could challenge almost every dangerous situation with animals.He died in 2006 after his chest was fatally pierced by a stingray barb.

One moment of not paying attention or one critical situation that didn't fit in his large experience record, became fatal. In Time Magazine it was explained that the stinging of Irwin by the stingray was "a one-in-a-million thing.

Often, some time before your Risk Reality World finally becomes Reality, small special signals or warnings have been on your way, but you ignored them. Either because you literally did not see them or because you denied or underestimated them.

So without becoming too suspicious, anxious or cautious, always keep in mind the "Law of Risk Reality". Stay aware, keep your senses and third eye open and accept and enjoy your limits.

Fish Cart Experience

2008-05-19T23:50:00.000+02:00

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation when you feel that something is wrong. However, before you're able to think what kind of situation you are getting in, you realize it's already too late: you're on the fish cart.

This experience is called "Fish Cart Experience", translated from the unofficial Dutch word "Viskarervaring".

The expression was introduced by a Dutch psychologist called Han Fortmann (1912-1970) and remained vivid by one of the best Dutch organization consultants, Kees Swarttouw, who unfortunately died on May 13, 2008.

The Fish Cart Experience (FCE) happens when we unconsciously act like other people, are uncritical and unaware of what is happening around us.

When we follow an idea or leader without critical thinking, we often end up on the fish cart.

In these situations we are acting just like a school of fish, concentrating on each other, instead of being critical and foreseeing the (changing) circumstances.

Ending up on the fish cart, is so to say the price we have to pay for unconscious behavior.

To prevent the FCE, the key words are "positive critical thinking".

There are ten types of critical thinking skills (Hay) identified:

Distinguishing between facts and opinions

Distinguishing relevant information or claims from irrelevant information or claims

Understanding the factual basis for statements

Understanding if a source is credible

Identifying arguments or claims that are ambiguous

Identifying hidden assumptions

Identifying bias

Detecting fallacies in decision making and judgment

Understanding logical inconsistencies

Understanding the strength of an argument or claim

So remember, always maintain positive critical thinking next time you're having a wonderful 'group experience' with your friends, family or colleagues. Always stay alert and, in case of doubt, jump of while you still can.

Hear it with your eyes!

2008-05-18T17:40:00.000+02:00

Ever heard about

The McGurk Effect

Simply said, this effect is

Your ears hear the word "BA"
Your eyes see the word "GA"
Combining the two: Your mind thinks it hears the word "DA"

BA+GA=DA

If you, just like me, doubt this,

Try McGurk

After this experience you'll have to recognize that:

What you hear is influenced by what you see
You may say one thing, but everybody else - who sees and hears you -is hearing something completely else.

The fact that BA + GA creates a new perception of DA, also indicates that our mind creates a new reality (DA).
This may be explained by fuzzy logics. Shortly said: If BA and GA in our mind each create a subconscious weak GA, the combination of BA an GA creates a strong conscious DA.
This subscribes the effect that when you say to someone "I like you" but (unconsciously) think "I don't like you", the hearer of this message actually not hears ILY but something else.

This also explains why if we are talking to people face to face we sometimes "don't believe them", "doubt them" or "feel" that something is not right.

What is true for the combination of hearing and seeing, will probably also be true for the combination of "all your senses".
It all has to do with perception. Try to find out how the combination of hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting and smelling creates a new world in yourself.

So try to use all your senses in "your kitchen", when communicating with others. This will lead to a richer life. Enjoy it.

Greener grass proof

2008-04-26T16:08:00.001+02:00

Why is it that:

The grass looks always greener on the other side of the fence?

Well, here's the final scientific proof.

Because you see the grass of your neighbor under a different angle (smaller) than your own grass (that's nearby), you relatively see more grass than the ground or irregularities between it.
So the grass of your neighbor is probably not greener at all.

It's the same with other things in your life. When you notice to many details or problems, you won't be able to enjoy or achieve things. Stick to the headlines and the important details, forget about the rest.

Enjoy looking under different angels at things in your life.
And don't forget to enjoy your own life-garden or that of your neighbor.

To enjoy things doesn't mean you have to own them.

Only Thoughts

2008-04-25T16:38:00.000+02:00

Ever heard about the famous philosopher and mathematician René Descartes?

He's the author of this worldchanging statement:

I think, therefore I exist

But what's the definition of "I"? In fact there is no sound definition of the real "I". The so called "I" is a kind of illusion (state of consciousness). At least when you agree on the 'No Ego Theory'.

A more logical correct statement would have been:

I think, therefore thoughts exist
Isn't it strange that just that one thing you can't grasp - Thoughts - is also just the only thing you're sure of that it exists !

On everything in life you can have different views, levels of consciousness or different forms of awareness. But thoughts are just thoughts. In fact thoughts are the one and only 'reality'.

Descartes' Error
Now it's argued that Descartes was not right because he separated mind and body in his thinking ( Descartes' Error ). In this line of thinking the original statement should be turned around ( I exist, therefore I think), because thoughts come from the mind and what the mind thinks comes from the body.

Much more likely is that our mind interprets what's coming in from the senses. This interpretation is done by the brain by means of 'universal thought-principles'. These principles are the same (universal) for all living beings. They also create the material world ( Genesis 1:2 ).

Dependent on the development of the brain and the degree of consciousness it achieves, 'universal thoughts' have more 'meaning' and are being recognized as 'thoughts'.

In fact all is created by 'only universal thoughts', on which I'll come back later.

Thought you would understand this !

Commitment or Contribution?

2008-04-12T09:24:00.002+02:00

People often say that they are 'committed' because they are truly convinced that they are delivering 'their part of the job', their contribution.

But there's a great difference between commitment and contribution, that can be simply explained by the fable of Bacon and eggs.

Bacon and Eggs Fable

A pig and a chicken were discussing the essence of a farmer’s breakfast.
The chicken said “That's obviously 'Eggs'” and the pig said “It must be Bacon”.

After a long discussion the pig finally concluded, “When it comes to breakfast, you merely provide a contribution. I, however, make a full commitment.”

What about your friends or partners, do they make a contribution, offering lip service or are they really committed?

Find out and find the difference between real friendship and acquaintanceship.

Discover yourself

2008-04-10T08:37:00.001+02:00

Discover yourself in a 1 minute test ! Is that possible? Yeah !

Your qualities all have a positive and a negative side. Moreover, when you give too much of your positive quality ("too much of a good thing"), it often turns out negative.

There's a very interesting method, developed by Daniel Ofman, called "Core Quadrant", that makes it possible to define not only your qualities, but also your pitfalls and challenges.

In his book Core Qualities, Ofman explains hoe to use your qualities better in life.

The Core Quadrant Method is not just a tool for discovering your own and others' core qualities and challenges, it also teaches you that you can learn most from the people you dislike most (you're allergic to).

His view can be summarized as:

Giving too much of your core quality, leads to your pitfall
The positive quality opposite of your pitfall, is your challenge
That what asks too much of challenge, is your allergy
Your core quality is the positive quality opposite of your allergy

Let's demonstrate this view in the next example:

Interested in discovering your own (or your friends) core qualities, challenges or pitfall?
Discover in about 1 minute what they are in the free online:

Core Quality Test
This test even helps if you're not able to see positive points in a (friends) relationship.

Just mention the negative points in the test and it will lead you to a interesting new view on your friend or yourself.

Read more details on Core Qualities at Kernconsult.

Develop yourself, keep developing your qualities.

Word of Mouth

2008-04-06T09:17:00.002+02:00

Are you aware of the effects of what you say? One of the oldest and most impacting ways of communication, is spreading your view by

Word of Mouth
Matthew 15:11
The words you speak are a projection of your deepest self. Your spoken words come back and you and may pollute or heal you.

Already in the bible (Matthew 15:11) Jesus states that instead of discussing whether unclean foods (entering the mouth) defile a person, the words that come out of a person's mouth (could) defile him more.
However, be good of heart, so that good words come out of your mouth (Luke 6:45) to generate good things in life.

WOM Marketing
Word of Mouth (WOM) is serious business. Be aware that your spoken words could effect or infect your environment.

Just like a viral infection, your words can become contagiousness (sticky) and are (in)directly widely spread around.

In the world of (viral) marketing this is what in the book named "The Tipping Point", Gladwell calls:

The Stickiness Factor
Marketing research on products and brands, showed that (product or brand) success is closely related to a handful of 'stickiness' key drivers:

Excellence: perceived as best of breed
Uniqueness: clear one-of-a-kind differentiation
Aesthetics: perceived aesthetic appeal
Association: generates positive associations
Engagement: fosters emotional involvement
Functional value: addresses functional needs
Nostalgic value: evokes sentimental linkages
Personification: has character, personality
Cost: perceived value for money

Whether you like to successful transfer a message, sell a product or "sell" yourself (like a brand), rate your message, product or yourself to the above list of 'sticky key drivers' and see how you can do better.

The more key drivers qualities are fulfilled, the more success you'll have.

WOM Formula
There's even a WOM formula that states that (the success of) WOM is a function of originality (O) and usefulness (U).

WOM = O x U

This formula has been extended by Alain Thys to:

WOM = O x U x S^C

With:

O = Originality
U = Usefulness
S = Seed, covers the amount of initial locations you can seed your message(i.e. the number of customers, bloggers, etc.)
C = Credibility, determines the relative value of these seed locations.

WOM HR in the office
Another WOM application can be given in the Human Resource (HR) field (Authentic Word of Mouth Marketing Innovations)
The way employees in a company respond and translate 'messages' and 'information' in the organization to other employees, depends on their 'Social Abilities' and their positive or negative 'Work Experiences'.

When making cultural changes in companies we may distinguish between these several kind of employees:

Quadrant A
Employees in Quadrant A do not feel positive or engaged at work. This group also tends to not have a large social circle, which means that even if they are complaining about the workplace, it will have limited effect. However, do not underestimate these people as many of them many not be extremely social in person but are social on the internet, where they can have an enormous impact. Especially if this group has tech skills, work hard to make them feel engaged and frequently ask them what they like about the job.
Quadrant B
Employees in Quadrant B generally like the job and have a positive opinion of it, but do not care to share that fact with a wide circle. This group should be encouraged to speak about the job more. If they are not comfortable with engaging more people in person, you can make them an online advocate of the company and train them in blogging, social networks and other online social tools where they can meet more people without feeling uncomfortable. They can also be mentored to go to more public events.
Quadrant C
Employees in Quadrant C are dangerous to your company. These highly social but negative people will spread negative stories, talk about company weaknesses and flaws in management. In the best of situations, you should try to move these employees to a more positive feeling for the company. Care must be taken that these people do not get left unchecked until they have severely damaged the company image, which as a social insider, is not difficult to do.
Quadrant D
Employees in Quadrant D should get paid double. These are the people that add energy and excitement to the company and they act as a latent but effective salesperson whenever they encounter someone. These are the people that, even years after they have left your business, will still be talking about it to new people.
The key with employees in D is to recognize them, encourage them and challenge them to do even more. Give them the stories and access to information that will make it even easier for them. Turn up their volume.

Realize the power of WOM, use it!

Cut the Knot !

2008-04-04T08:51:00.000+02:00

Sometimes it's hard to take decisions.
However, problems in life can be looked upon as knots.

Just like real problems in life

the stuck knots are sometimes hard to undo.
there are a lot of different knot types

Now what can we learn from knots to solve problems in real life?

Stage 1 Analyze
First of all, before undoing (= solving) a knot (= problem), try to analyze it before just starting to pull (= attack) on the knot.
Pulling without analyzing might work, but often makes things worse. So always analyze first.

Stage 2 Work out action plan
Make an action plan and work this out.
Often you can undo knots in more than one way.
In general there are five different forms of (sequential) action plans

Action Plan 1 : Analytical Approach
Think on how the rope got into a knot anyway.
Undo the knot in small steps (don't force) by slightly loosen up the knot (rope) and 'working backwards".
Decide on which end of the rope to start. Sub-analyze after each step and go on

Action Plan 2 : Trial and Error
Without a direct plan, by trial and error, but still with firmness, strength, gentleness and infinite perseverance, loosen up the knot and try to to shake the knot repeatedly.

Action Plan 3 : Make things worse
When analytic approach and trail and error fail, and nothing helps, just take the risk of making things worse. Pull both ends of the rope at the same time in order to find out if the knot undoes itself!
Just like with knots in ropes, our problems often disappear by (the risk of) making them larger.
Even knots that you can undo in this way, may seem stuck at first. Simply loosen up the knot a bit. This diminishes the resistance of the rope. After that just pull.

Action Plan 4: Wait
Do nothing and wait a limited amount of time to see if the circumstances change or you might get other ideas or help.
Often when there's no tension on the knot, it loosens up itself so you can undo it.

Action Plan 5: Cut the knot
When every action plan until now has failed use the method Alexander the Great used by slicing the Gordian Knot with his sword.
So in these cases simply Cut the Knot.
This means that when patience and perseverance have failed, end the problem in a rigorous way.

When all the above methods have failed and you still got this problem, the only way to fight it is to recognize the problem is within yourself.

The famous philosopher Wittgenstein suggested that some problems are in fact knots in our head, often created by asking ourselves the wrong sorts of questions.

Now in the end it all comes down to you. You must decide to

Cut the knot or not

Wetter it is the knot outside or in your head (or both), don't let it drive you nuts.

Share your Dreams

2008-03-24T11:07:00.009+01:00

Some people are anxious to share their dreams.
But nothing is wrong with that. And with good friends you can even share your deeper thoughts.
So good friends may contribute to fulfill your dreams.

But suppose you've got a brand new idea or activity that you're (only) good at.
Don't worry to share this either.

Sharing good plans and ideas are just like giving away 'sheet music' of Bach:

It looks easy to play, But it isn't !
Still difficult to accept?

Imagine a fugue by Bach that's played by a fireman. Or the fire of your burning house that had to be extinguished by Bach.
What would the performance be in both cases?
Be confident about yourself.

Share your dreams and ideas and things will come your way !

Blind Reality

2008-03-22T10:34:00.006+01:00

There's this bible story of the Blind Man of Bethsaida (Mark 8:22-25).

Mark 8:22-25
22 And they came to Beth-sa'ida. And some people brought to him a blind man, and begged him to touch him.
23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the village; and when he had spit on his eyes and laid his hands upon him, he asked him, "Do you see anything?"

24 And he looked up and said, "I see men; but they look like trees, walking."

25 Then again he laid his hands upon his eyes; and he looked intently and was restored, and saw everything clearly.

This is not just one of those spectacular healings of blind people by some or other magician.
It's one of the most powerful teachings in the bible.

It all has to do with the question:

Why did Jesus heal the blind man in two stages?

The answer to this question lays in the next recent scientific insights.

A new study on blind people who regain their sight, by Ione Fine and Donald MacLeod of the UCSD ( University Of California - San Diego ) shows:

ScienceDaily
The two-year study focused on the experiences of Michael May, who, after having been completely blind since the age of 3 1/2, successfully underwent an experimental limbal stem cell transplant in his right eye at the age of 43.

After regaining his sight in March of 2000, May, like many others who have regained their sight after decades of blindness, could see the world, but could not interpret what he was seeing.

Two years after surgery, he still lives in a world of abstract shapes and colors instead of the environment of recognizable objects with three-dimensional shapes that normally sighted people take for granted.

This study explains scientifically that making a blind person see, consists of two stages:

making it physically possible to let someone see
make the person understand ( interpretate ) what he sees

It's (always) astonishing that the bible teaches us something that we can only seem to understand with the science insights of 2004.

This contributes to the fact that the bible is an authentic source and that the words of Jesus, even in our era, can teach us on how to develop science.

Spiritual View
But there's also a congruential spiritual view on this story.

When we live in our world and just look at things superficial, we are constantly confused.
We live, so to speak, as in a "blind reality". However, by reading the holy scripts and the words of Jesus we receive insight and are able to interpretate and to understand the things we see.

This levels us up to a higher level of consciousness and makes our lives more valuable.

This way leads to the life that was "ment to be".

Columbus Egg

2008-03-16T17:17:00.002+01:00

We often try to perform,living by the rules.

Rules are often developed based upon experiences, the past.
To capture the future, set for new directions, 'old rules' sometimes get in the way.

One step further is the Master, who sets the rules needed to achieve new goals.

A great example of such a master is Christofer Columbus, who discovered America in 1492.

The egg of Columbus

Just after his first voyage, Columbus was at a party.

There, somebody told him that if he had not discovered America, someone else would have.

Without reply, Columbus took an egg and said, "He who can make this egg stand here on the table without support, he was the first to discover the Indies."

Each person on the table attempted to make the egg stand, but no one succeeded.

Then Columbus took the egg in his hand an with a smart stroke upon the table, it remained upright.

As is clear, Columbus in one single action proved:

He (only) had the capabilities of succeeding in utopic goals
Once somebody discovered something new in a simple way, that doesn't mean it wasn't hard to discover
To succeed, if neccesary, you'll have to change the rules (stroke the egg)
Tough situations urge for thinking out of the box

Remember, sometimes you cannot make an omelette without breaking the egg.

Next time your goals look unreacheable or you don't have enough time or patience, simply try changing the rules.

Career Decision Matrix

2008-03-04T22:19:00.003+01:00

Rewarding employees looks simple. If someone "makes the numbers", simply reward him or her. When exceeding the numbers simply give an extra bonus or promote someone.

If someone doesn't deliver the promised targets, simply fire that person.

Unfortunately it's not that easy...

Lack of attitude
What if your employee "makes the numbers" but doesn't show the right attitude and/or doesn't demonstrate the company values.

Although it seems hard to decide: Fire that employee. Not firing, will result in 'copy behavior' of other employees, with chaos or possible mutiny as a result.

Not delivering the numbers
What about the reversed situation, when someone is showing the right attitude and company values, but doesn't (yet) deliver the promised numbers?

Give him or her a second or third chance.

Next time you reward someone, take into account his or her attitude.

Sometimes Shit happens

2008-03-04T00:00:00.002+01:00

Even if we do our utmost best in life,

Sometimes Shit Happens

All kind of Shit, like accidents, divorces, dead or health problems could be messing up our lives.
When dealing with Shit, we may ask the "What" and the "Why" question.

First we may analyze de cause of the shit (the What question).

What caused the Shit?
Did I cause it myself or did somebody else do this?
Could I prevent this kind of Shit or not?

But perhaps more important is the "Why" question

Why did this happen?
Why did it happen to me, my friend or my enemy?
Why did it happen now and not later or earlier?
Is there a reason why this happened?

Answering the Why question, could give us the meaning of this Shit that happened in our life.
Let's distinguish between several events that could happen to us in life.

Suppose you got caught in a car crash.
This is not a global, but a personal event, with mainly personal impact.
If the accident was caused by you, you could raise the why-question to yourself.
If the accident was caused by someone else who - for instance - was drunk and got on the wrong side of the road, things become more difficult.
The meaning, sense or reason of such an accident is often not personal, but more local. People in your environment learn from this that drinking alcohol and driving don't go together.

However, questions that you could raise in these kind of situations are:
Why was I there, at that moment, with what reason? And, could I have reacted differently?

Global events, like a tsunami or an earthquake, have an enormous personal impact on us, but no personal conclusions (in terms of meaning) can be drawn.
In these kind of events life may seem unfair from a personal point of view. These events only have a global meaning. Only global conclusions, like 'building stronger houses', can be drawn here.

The reason why such events take place are on a global scale. They concern the life and development of the earth as a hole.

Things like humans, animals, corals or whatever are of minor importance than the greater goal : survival of the Earth.

So in general we may conclude that from local (global) Shit-events we may often draw personal (global) conclusions with a personal (global) meaning.
You could say that local events have a local reason and global events have a global reason. Don't mix them up!

But perhaps you think that

Things happen without a reason ?
As we've seen, this may seam so, because reasons are sometimes global and not personal.

But perhaps you think there are no reasons in life, and everything - Shit and Good - is just random happening, without a meaning?

In this case you probably also think you've got no destination?
Because events in life only have a meaning if you have a goal, a destination. Not chosen by yourself, but by the universe.

So if you think

There's a destination in life
you'll search for the reason that Shit happened to you. By learning from the reason's that caused this Shit, you'll be able to reframe yourself and still reach your final (but sometimes hidden) personal destination. In a way you could say the environment (universe) helps you to reach your destination by generating Shit if you don't decide in line with your destination.

In a way you could say that the meaning of Shit happening in your life depends on what you believe.

Redefine, self-redefine, Shit as

Shit Helps In Thinking

Permission Paradox

2008-03-02T23:07:00.004+01:00

You recognize these situations?:

You apply for a 'manager job', but are turned down because you don't have any 'manager experience' However, you can not seem to gain manager experience without first being a manager.

You've got your drivers license, but your father or partner doesn't allow you to drive his car. He's afraid you might damage it. You can only proof you will not damage the car by driving it.

These situations are examples of what is called the

Permission Paradox

The permission paradox with regard to career management is described and promoted by Spencer Stuart on bases of the book 'The 5 Patterns of Extraordinary Careers'.

It's one of the great Catch-22s in business.

In general it's simply stated: “You can't get the permission (job) without the experience and you can't get the experience without the permission (job).”

In practice you can overcome the paradox. Let's mention a few methods for gaining permission.

If you want something, just ask

Demonstrate competence or required behavior in areas that form the building blocks for new future roles

To gain associative or expert permission, get the relevant credentials

Ensure that both parties get something from the relationship

Of course there are more, (discussable) strategies to avoid the permission paradox.

But anyway, unlock your potential, be aware of the paradox and don't accept a 'no' for an answer: do something!

Seesaw Principles in Life

2008-02-23T17:01:00.005+01:00

What can we learn in life from a simple seesaw?
Take a look at the next picture.

What can we conclude? Can you deduct any principals from this picture?

Before discussing some principles it's interesting to study and to be aware of the mathematical equation and the corresponding 'relational equivalents' that are behind balanced seesaws.
A seesaw with one person (L) on the left several persons on the right is in balance when:

M_L . D_L = Σ M_x . D_x

with
M_P = the weight of person P
D_P = the distance of person P to the center of the seesaw

For non-mathematicians, this formula simply states that in order to 'play' and keep balance, the sum of the "weights" times the "distances"(to the center) of the people on the right of the seesaw, have to equal the same sum of people on the left (in this case only one).

Some simple conclusions from this formula are:

To keep balance on your own (no persons on the right of the seesaw), you'll have to sit in the center of the seesaw (D_L=0)

Two persons, L and M, of equally weight must take place at the same distance from the center (D_L=D_M)

In order to balance more persons of equally weight on the right, the person on left has to take place at a larger distance from the center

Now let's relate this formula to relationships in real life.

Balance
Read the word "Balance" as being "balanced in life". Things in life run smooth, are stable and can be influenced and managed

Distance
Translate the physical entity "distance" to real life as either "physical, emotional distance", or the "amount of connection" between people

With this knowledge, please study the picture again.

Although the number of possible associations is enormous, some interesting examples can be given in the next three :

Seesaw Principles

Solo
When you're on your own, it's hard to keep balance in life
- If you move, there's no one to keep you in balance.
- You depend solely on your own view and interpretation of things.
- You've got no one to discuss things with.
- You're fully focused on keeping balance and making no mistakes.
- You are not able to watch, enjoy, relax or remark things around you.

Partnership
Partnership gives stability in life.
- To maintain balance you'll have to keep the right distance between two partners. "Right" means often not exactly identical but weighted with each other's competencies, positive and negative characteristics, preferences and wishes.
- Even if your partner differs from you, you can still bring the seesaw back into balance by letting him give in or pulling him closer to you (bringing him closer to the middle of the seesaw).It's obvious: Don't give in yourself, things will get more worse. Of course you may also increase your own distance to get into a balanced position. After balancing, this could invite the other (he or she feels more save) to come closer after all, in which case you can also come closer to establish a new balance.
- If you and your partner get 'too close', the relationship becomes unstable.
- Even if you live or work with a partner that's totally different, you'll be able to find the right balance, by increasing the distance (meet less often, use telephone or write letters instead of physical meeting(s), move away, take a holiday or break, etc).
- When you and your partner (e.g. the seesaw) are in balance, giving and taking (e.g. 'playing seesaw, going up and down) take no effort at all and is fun.
- By applying seesaw principles it's possible to create a sort of lever with which you can increase your force or that of your partner, whatever the situation requires.
Management
Managers have to keep distance.
- Although you are perhaps a real 'people manager' or a 'family organizer', if you work with larger groups (more than two people on the right side of the seesaw), always increase and manage your distance in such way that you are able to 'steer the group' and that mutual respect can be maintained.
- If the situation urges you to work more closely together, create sub groups or plan individual one-to-one meetings.
- If, for what reason, you can't create enough distance, ask the 'right team member' to join you in steering (let this person join you on the left of the seesaw).

Next time you're having difficulty in keeping your balance, remember the Seesaw Principles.

Keep Moving

2008-02-16T13:42:00.000+01:00

Take the next four experiences:

While riding a bike you have to keep cycling. If you don't you'll loose speed, get out of balance and will finally fall

While moving (on your bike) you'll be more difficult to catch than when you're standing still.
Compare this with: It's easier to hit a dartboard on the wall than a moving one

If you've got enough speed on your bike, your bike is in balance and you'll have your hands free to do other things

After a little exercise you'll be able to ride a complex non linear vehicle that a bike is, without thinking.

It's just like Albert Einstein stated in a Yiddish quote:

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein

That's why people who give up on live, or slow down too much by listening too much to multiple advices of other people, eventually fall and die.

However, don't speed up too much on your life-bicycle. Anticipate and adjust your speed of life to the circumstances.

Never change parachute

2008-02-02T15:15:00.001+01:00

You're moving in the right direction. Finally, with lots of effort an concentration your long intended goal is within reach.

Suddenly, last minute, someone comes up with a new idea or sudden change to turn your goal into an ever better or greater success...

Don't do it
and
Don't accept it

Never change a good plan that runs well.

Never 'Change from parachute while your jumping'.
Unless of course things are not running smooth and your parachute is on fire or won't open.

However, keep in mind that to have continuous success, your mind must be just like the parachute: OPEN

Keep Smiling

2008-01-27T08:07:00.000+01:00

What's the right response when people treat you unfriendly in a dominant way?

By nature you could probably respond in two ways:

Defending yourself, find or make up excuses, explain
Express your irritation or frustration

Neither strategies will help. It's probably better to react paradoxically and react with friendly dominant behavior.

You could do this for instance by asking open, non-directive questions. This way you will gain the initiative.

Hold on!
One paradoxical intervention will certainly not be enough to get grip on the situation.

You'll have to keep up and sustain your friendly behavior, even if this means you have to act against your feelings.

From the heart
Try to make this way of reaction a matter of the heart and not of acting against your nature.

It's simply a matter of keeping up your dominant friendliness for a longer period of time than the other person can keep up his dominant unfriendliness.

This approach will finally lead to results, when the other person, according to the mirror principles, responds with what is called 'submissive friendliness'.

Once the other person eventually starts answering your questions and following your line of conversation, success is within reach.

So remember, keep smiling, from the heart.

Optimal route in life

2007-12-26T16:17:00.000+01:00

Do you also intent to follow the simplest, direct or easiest route in Life?

Right you are....

Going from A to B in life is like a risk management game.

As the captain of your Body&Mind-Ship (BMS) heading for a New Land at Port Novaya Zemlya, you'll have three starting issues:

Three starting issues

Define your target (B): Know where you want to go in life
Define your starting point (A): Know Where an Who you are in life
Define your Route: Know How you want to go from A to B

In terms of risk management there are two main targets:

Main Risk Management Targets

Long term Target
Reach your final target (Novvaya Zemlya)
Short term Target
Avoid short time risks, tackle problems along the way (avoid ice floes)

So, what kind of approach is right for reaching your goal?

If you concentrate too much in life on your 'final goal' or you want to achieve your goals too fast or too direct, you'll certainly hit a short term problem, like an ice floe, and end up crashed as a hero or a martyr.

If you concentrate too much on the short term problems in your life, you'll loose sight on your final goal and certainly fail to reach Novaya Zemlya.

The solution is (of course) to concentrate on the short term goals as well as keep an eye on the long term goal at the same time.

The optimal route?

But what is the best strategy for finding the optimal route in life?

Take a look at the next map to find out the best strategy for this ship.

Strategy I: Don't think, go to your target in a straight line

The most logical route from A to B would of course be a straight line. However following this line as a blind man would certainly lead to failure.

Strategy II: Keep as much is possible to the straight line

As BMS captain might look like the 'best strategy' solution. This is how we often directly respond in life when we do not succeed in getting what we want the way we planned it.

Often this route is 2 to 3 times longer than the 'straight line route' and does not always guarantee that you reach your goal in the labyrinth of life.

As mostly in life , the best advice is....

Strategy III: Get help and plan!

As BMS captain with the right attitude and perseverance to succeed, you consult your friends and foes and draw yourself the best possible satellite map, so that you'll be able to oversee the 'seascape' of your life, with all relevant problems, like ice foes ahead.

Often this optimal ice route is 1.5 times longer than the 'straight line route', but it guarantees the highest success rate.

But what to do if you have no information at all? That's when thinking and mathematics come in, or it gets time for an alternative approach before you freeze in reaching for Novvaya Zemlya....

Zero Sum Thinking

2007-12-15T08:25:00.000+01:00

Ever heard about a Zero Sum? We all grew up by what's called

Zero Sum Thinking

Zero Sum Thinking (ZST) is the view that one party's gain is another party's loss

Simple illustrations of ZST are:

If I get the biggest piece of the cake, you won't
If I get this job, you won't
Producing more cars leads to more air pollution
Because the rich get richer, the poor get poorer
Playing check or tic tac toe
If I get happy, you'll feel bad

By playing all kind of "zero sum games" as a child, ZST has become a part of our life. Often an unconscious part.

Zero Sum Games are a part of the game-theory or economic game theory. They fundamentally influenced our way of thinking when we were young.

For some people, like Colin Powell, Zero Sum Thinking even became an obsession.

Often later on in life, we discover that there is much more than ZST

Non Zero Sum Thinking

If you are a stubborn pessimist, Non Zero Sum Thinking will probably lead to Negative Sum Thinking. You think that everything you do in life is worthless. You think you only create damage to others and the world. Life eventually will become a hell for you. A hell created by yourself, a self fulfilling prophecy.

However, let's practise

Positive Sum Thinking

Yeah, Positive Sum Thinking (PST) means that you search for ways where not only you, but all parties benefit from a certain action. PST creates value.
This "creating more value" can be done in many ways, like cooperation, innovation, creation, sharing, caring or investing.

In fact PST could be defined as a fundamental kind of attitude in life.

You either believe that everything in this universe adds up to nothing or know that if all advantages (created value) are crossed off against the disadvantages (damage), something positive is left.
That something positive is "what you are doing it for" in life. In fact that "something positive" is life, is love, is you and me in the heart. It makes the difference.

Remember when you face a new challenge...., Start PST............

Reach the top

2007-12-10T23:17:00.000+01:00

We often think that, to reach the Top or to achieve a specific goal, we need that very special person, or a specific tool. For simple goals in life, like ’repairing the water closet’, that’s true.
In case of more complicated or ambitious goals, it’s not that simple.
Take the example of climbing one of the highest mountains in the world, e.g. the Himalaya.

To achieve an ambitious goal like that, it takes different instruments and help, depending on the phase you’re in:

Going to Tibet, your feet won’t help you, you’ll need an airplane
Climbing to the sub top, the airplane isn’t of any use, you’ll need the help of sherpa’s
Climbing the last 100 meters to the top, you don’t need sherpa’s, you’ll need oxygen masks

Beside this, it’s clear that in these cases you’ll need to develop a plan and divide the preparation tasks between the team members.

As you notice, just like climbing the K2, every new phase (in time or life) on the way to your (whatever) personal defined goal, urges a different kind of help.
Although this Himalaya example looks very simple, we often don’t act up on this insight.

Some simple examples:

We think the luxury car we bought will also help us in case we have to transport grass-patches.
We try to break down the wall with the help of a nail hammer instead of buying a brick hammer.
When filling in a vacancy, we keep searching for a candidate that is a ’sheep with five legs’.
After happy holidays with a new person we met, we automatically assume that this person shall become your best friend
You think that because your wife is a good mother, she will also have the skills to be your best business partner.
You think that because your husband is good at fixing a bicycle, he will also fix your TV set
We assume (implicit) that a successful manager in ’Greenfield operations’, will also be successful in case of a grown business.

Possible reasons for this blind sight are:

We like to stick to our positive experiences and translate or extrapolate the current developments linear to the future
We like to be ’penny wise’, but are (in fact) ’pound foolish’
We don’t want to disappoint our friends or family or we have unrealistic expectations about them

So don’t get stuck in the old axiom that

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to approach every problem in life as if it were a nail

Looking from another perspective. If circumstances, times or goals change and you no longer fit in an organizations’s or a relationships’s mission or goal, quitting, divorcing or getting fired is sometimes the best solution. These situations have in general nothing to do with worries like ’I wasn’t good enough’ or ’People don’t appreciate me’.

Pick up your hat and create new steps in life.
So stay awake to reach the top and dare to change people, instruments, your vision or yourself, if your goal urges you.

Flow Chart Control

2007-12-09T09:14:00.000+01:00

You're having success on success, your life 'flows by'. It's fun, challenging and exciting. Then... suddenly things start to go wrong and your not in your flow anymore. You're out of control. What happened?

When your challenges and skills are in balance things run smooth in life. This is called Flow

Managing and controlling your personal ´flow chart´, is done by consecutively increasing challenges and skills step by step.
To achieve higher goals we cannot simply set higher challenges. In case of too much challenge, the healthy amount of challenge (arousel) emerges to stress and finally to anxiety. We often blame the world, but in fact we've to blame ourselves. Bring down the stress, relax or take time to improve your skills (school, training, or reprogramming at an older age in life) until you feel that challenge and skills are rebalanced again.

This principle of balance between challenge and skills is described in Mr. Mihaly Csiksczentmihalyi's book 'Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience".

A summary of Csiksczentmihalyi's teachings is given by the next interesting paradoxes and insights:

Happiness
We cannot reach happiness by consciously searching for it. Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot by pursued; it must ensure....as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a course greater than oneself." (p. 2)

The Paradox of Control
What people enjoy is not the sense of being in control, but the sense of exercising control in difficult situations. It is not possible to experience a feeling of control unless one is willing to give up the safety of protective routines." (p. 61)
Achieve control over one's consciousness, overcoming the common perception that our lives are shaped by forces beyond our control. Everyone has experienced times when, instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we do feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and that becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like. This is what we mean by optimal experience (or flow)

Best moment paradox
Contrary to what we usually believe, moments like these, the best moments of our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times... The best moments occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile...in the long run optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery - or perhaps better, a sense of participation in determining the content of life - that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceivably imagine." (pp. 2-3)

The Purpose of Consciousness
The Purpose of Consciousness is to represent information about what is happening outside and inside the organism in such a way that it can be evaluated and acted upon by the body (p. 24).However, it is noted that consciousness also shapes and filters what enters our consciousness, thus determining what we experience as our life.

Optimal Experiences

The Transformation of Time
One of the most common descriptions of 'optimal experience' is that time no longer seems to pass the way it ordinarily does...

The Paradox of Work
In our studies we have often encountered a strange inner conflict in the way people relate to the way they make their living. On the one hand, our subjects usually report that they have had some of their most positive experiences while on the job. From this response it would follow that they would wish to be working, that their motivation on the job would be high. Instead, even when they feel good, people generally say that they would prefer not to be working, that their motivation on the job is low. The converse is also true: when supposedly enjoying their hard-earned leisure, people generally report surprisingly low moods; yet they keep on wishing for more leisure." (p. 158)

The quality of life
The quality of life depends on two factors: how we experience work, and our relations with other people

The Power of Indecision

2007-11-15T10:32:00.000+01:00

You always take a decision, even if you don't.

In fact, every (non)decision or (non)action changes the world and has a deep impact on your life and that of others.
Once you are aware of this immense effect, don't let this make you indecisive.

Try to define your next move, make a decision.

Not taking the right decisions at the right moment, might lead to a Lost Choice.

When not to decide

Even if you make decisions easily, in particular cases it's better to take the decision 'not to decide' (yet) and to wait and ask the universe for help.
Sometimes your intentions, dreams or wishes are too ambitious or difficult to achieve (at once). You can not dictate the universe to follow the exact path you've defined in reaching your goal.
This, all together, means that must give the universe time to respond or to calibrate.

Following this approach doesn't imply that you have to sit back passively and wait for the universe to deliver you the 'pot of gold at the end of the rainbow'.
No, this situation requests for a receptive approach where you listen to what the universe answers. These often inconceivable 'universal answers' hold the key to refine or redefine your ambition or wishes.
At the same time, use the universal answers to check or adjust the rightfulness of your intentions. You and the Universe have to be 'on the same page' to be successful.

Once you've gone through all these processes, you're ready to make your 'next move' to step forward in small steps, knowing and trusting that the Universe will help you at the right moment (the present) with the right gift (the presents).

It's just like Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones) states in this impacting "you can't always get what you want song:"

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need...
Mick Jagger

Realize that, to "make it happen", you'll have to follow the law of attraction, that states:

“What we continually think about...,
eventually will manifest in our lives.”
Robert Collier 1885-1950

Notice that this quote uses the word "'manifest' and not 'happen'!

Sing the universal song

So try to recognize the song of the universe, just like scientists are studying the song of a volcano (mp3) to predict volcano eruptions by correlating (Mozart's) music with precise stages of volcanic activity.

Use the power of indecision: sing and dance to the music of the universe, your composition, your life.

Gorilla beats!

2007-06-17T23:11:00.000+02:00

A gorilla has beaten the major Dutch stock indices

The major Dutch stock index – the AEX – has been beaten by gorilla Jacko for the fourth consecutive year.
The stock portfolio which was hand-picked by the gorilla, outperformed the AEX by almost 4%.
Jacko's performance was even better than that of the top analists.

This phenomenon gives rise to the thought that intelligence has its limits and that a chaotic system at the best can only be beaten by another chaotic system and not by intelligence alone.

It's the same in our lives...
don't always try to beat by intelligence...
Sometimes follow your hart